Saturday, May 10, 2008

Linux sucks.. for watching Porn

Linux people like to say that the OS is built for the internet. I'm not really sure what that means. But ok, if it's built for the internet, then it should be really good for watching porn right? I mean, what else is the internet good for? Online banking? yea.. to pay your porn bill.

First problem: codecs. I have never seen an Ogg Theora based porn site. Every get h264 working on your machine? uh huh. WMV? please.

Second problem: sound. For some retarded reason, sound never works well on a Linux machine. Maybe you managed to download that new video, but now you only get the video and no sound. Or maybe you get sound but your volume control is fucked up so that you can only get mute or awesomely loud with one useless notch in between. I mean, when it comes to porn, it's all about the loud-enough but not loud-enough-that-the-neighbors-can-hear right?

Third problem: Maybe you've managed to subvert the first two problems by going for a flash-video based site. I mean youtube is the future of porn right? Sure, but using 64 bit linux cuz you're uber-awesome? fail. But I mean, a browser totally need 64 bit address space, because you're gonna have 2^63 tabs open right? Yea it'd work if distros shipped 32bit firefoxes and a working compatibility library, but nope, you lose. Yes, I know, you can install a damn 32-bit chroot ok. I've done it. It sucks.

Maybe distros are trying to take the moral high ground but making it difficult for their users to watch porn. Good for them.

All that money the save using Linux, you can spend on old fashioned adult DVD's. Want to watch that DVD on your ubuntu distro? oops that's illegal.

30 flames:

Anonymous said...

Last time I used ubuntu (7.whatever) everything was going oh so well, until the day I had that 'itch' that needed 'scratching'. Unfortunately I don't get off on trying to make things work, suffice to say I'm still fucking myself using windows and mpc tyvm.

Anonymous said...

I would even say, Firefucks !

Anonymous said...

Please either use a 64bit windows instead of 64bit Linux, or install a 32bit OS.

As a side note, there are distros that actually work for all that.

Anonymous said...

I'm late to the party, but whatever. When my sound isn't broken because of some new driver or some package that didn't used to mean shit but suddenly does (I think it was some piece of gstreamer or something that broke all sound in Gnome, or at least my ability to control it a while ago), sound works great for me. Other than my speakers forgetting that they exist when the power goes out. There's nothing better than going to turn down your porn and it goes from mute to uber loud. That's at home anyway. Mostly trouble-free with Debian (and 64-bit nonetheless). At work... PulseAudio decides to die and prevent me from listening to some crazy power metal to drive all of the customers nuts until I restart my computer. And it happens every day I try to play music. That's 32-bit Ubuntu, for the record.

Anonymous said...

rofl

too stupid for watching porn on linux? it's a pity...

Anonymous said...

I use 64b ubuntu strictly for porn, I mean you dont have to worry about the viruses and nomatter what 64bitOS you get they all ship with 32B browser. Come on, I havn't had a single problem and all the new youtube porn sites are great. :P

Anonymous said...

I really don't understand what everyone's talking about. I've been using Linux since about two years ago, and I haven't had a single thought about switching back to windows. I've NEVER had any problems with sound or video, and I use my Linux box for porn quite often. I was always having problems with it in windows. You just wait until a virus wrecks your Winblows box and you lose everything on your hard drive, while I stand by, laughing because Linux isn't affected.

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Anonymous said...

its not illegal and in fact neither is open source and in fact it never crashes! and there is no danger of viruses

Anonymous said...

are you retarded? first off, funny, porn and the internet...go beat off to some avi file from limewire ( before it went open source, you know when it had the spyware) that is infected with a trojan. at least have the knowledge and intelligence to write about pertinent. I know click click is what your used to but linux works, mplayer? you heard of it? flashplayer works with linux. firefox is open source...need i say more... mplayer will play any codec under the sun so will vlc. my sound, volume control, and all hardware works, some with more functionality than the drivers that came with windows. BSD? havent seen it since I erased XP. Windows has gaming, and Photoshop. Congrats, a multibillion dollar company is barely beating an OS that has 1/10000000 of the revenue. Bill should be proud

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Anonymous said...

"my sound, volume control, and all hardware works, some with more functionality than the drivers that came with windows."

What extra functionality are you talking about? Oh, that's right. You can't answer because you pulled that BS out of your ass.


"BSD? havent seen it since I erased XP."

I haven't seen it since the early XP years (2001-2002) despite using XP until now. How can I see it again? I miss it.

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