Friday, May 9, 2008

Linux won't get you hot chicks

Yea, I'm a nerd. So what. If you're reading this, by definition, you're a bigger nerd than I am.

So here's the deal, the one IN that male computer nerds have with women is that they can be their tech support. Oh, having problems with your laptop? I can fix that for you. If you have any semblance of social skills, you can start from this type of acquaintance and actually make her think that, "Oh, he's not just computer nerd". You're on your own for the rest.

Point is, if you use Linux you're fucked (figuratively, NOT literally). Yea, because you're also probably one of those types that avoid Windows because you think it's evil, and by refusing to use the OS that 90% of the world uses, you think it'll go away. Maybe even the Mac too. So when your opportunity comes along to help out some attractive female with her computer problems, oops, you don't know jack shit about her operating system. Kernel panic. Good going. Give up and keep hoping that some hot blonde is going to come to you some day and say, "I'm trying to run somecommand 2>&1 > foo but it's not working. Can you help?"

If you manage somehow to recover from your catastrophic deficiency, you'll probably then start a long the lines of, "Hey, you know your computer wouldn't give you so many problems if you let me install this thing called Ubuntu on it...". Yep, so then you'll get her to talk to you every day, because there will be something she doesn't know how to do. Most of those things she actually can't do, but instead you'll tell her about how she can file a bug, or how she can write her own patch. Maybe you think that she'll appreciate you then because you know so much about Ubuntu, but in fact she'll just hate you. And she'll hate Linux, without even knowing what it is.

Besides, you're just being sneaky. At best you're a dirty used cars salesman selling someone something by just only talking about it's good points. At worst, you're forcing something upon her that she doesn't want. Some people call that rape. Yep, it's computer rape.

25 flames:

Katja said...

great story! and 100% to the point :D

(hot female philosophy student being tortured with linux by her bigger-than-you-nerd reading through this blog)

Anonymous said...

very true.

The way we find hot females is by waiting for them to come up with some computing problem, like they have run some totally.awesome.virus.exe (posing as a video file, of course) at some point in time and now their computer has got a bit slow occasionally.

Dude, you can just go to, you know, a party, and just use our mouth (to talk) instead of all the trouble.

toxickore said...

haha! this was hilarious and funny, but true!

Muibe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

This was a bad one..

Just makes me think you are one ugly fucker. Otherwise you would not bother with this crap. If you fucked a few, you would know that whether a girl is turned on by you or not (will fuck you or not that same night), is determined within the first 10 seconds.

Why bring computers into that at all..buu..

phreakincool said...

Show's what bigger loser you are. Alot of the cool chicks are up on Ubuntu. Maybe not as much as Windows, but its enough.

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Anonymous said...

I think a woman would call the luser that suggested her to install ubuntu and say:

You stupid fuckhead!... fix my fuckin' computer... my screen became a freakin' rotating cube!

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