You thought I was done with your packages. Well guess what, I just updated my package.
Guess what? you get to download the whole damn thing again. But don't worry, I actually love downloading openoffice packages over and over again just to get that one patched file. I feel like I'm getting more free stuff each time.
But forget that. Forget the fact that if you go and install Gutsy right now, you'd pull down enough in updates for another CD. I thought we were supposed to be better than Windows service packs, or something.
No, I'm pissing away my Sunday evening to bitch about your updates.
Here's how it usually goes..
Debtard: "Hey friend, you should install Linux. I'd recommend Debian stable, but since I see that you got your machine within the last ten years, I'd recommend Ubuntu. It's got this great system where it's really easy to update software."
Friend: "Sounds good. Give me a CD."
Debtard: "Here's the Ubuntu Feisty version CD. It's the latest and greatest."
The standard stuff ensues. Friend installs Ubuntu. Friend spends weekends and weekends making it work, while his wife and children leave him. Friend discovers that he can drag his desktop windows around in new ways that blow his mind. Friend realizes that he can't actually do anything he wants to with his new system, but figures it's at least good for getting high and dragging some windows around. Friend discovers that porn looks awesome when it's wrapped around the corner of a desktop cube.
Friend then updates to Gutsy. Goes through some more horseshit because something broke. Yadda yadda. A few months later...
Debtard: "Hey check it. Did you see Firefox 3 came out?"
Friend: "Sweet dude. How do I use this awesome software updating thing you told me about?"
Debtard: "Uhhh. I think you have to update to the Hardy version dude."
Friend: "Dude, what the fuck. I just got fucked by the last update. I don't want to do that shit every 6 months. Can't I just get the FF3 update?"
Friend: "Thanks man. Really. This is some awesome shit."
Debtard: "oh. oh. yea you should google this thing called backports"
Friend reads about backports. He finds out that they're mostly tested by the "community" where "community" means less than 1% of the Ubuntu population.
Friend: "This looks like some ghetto shit. This shit doesn't even work when 100% of the community "tests" it. I don't want it."
Debtard: "Works for me dude. But, oh, you can go get firefox binaries from upstream then."
Friend: "Fuck dude. Why didn't you say that before."
... A few days later ...
Friend: "WTF, it took me hours to figure out how to install this thing. And when I run it, my fonts look like Richard Stallman's pubic hair."
Debtard: "Oh yea.... that's because it's not a real Ubuntu package so they don't use your graphics library that's patched with sketchy patent-encumbered patches. Can't do anything about that."
Friend: "I hate you, fucktard. Give me my life back."
And don't you guys fucking say that this shit is made up. I've seen it happen exactly like that.
The slightly more observant among you will now start to go off about how this is where open source shines: "Don't like what you get? then download the source and fix it yourself."
What you really mean is:
- Download the Firefox 3 source
- Read tons of docs on how to configure the build
- apt-get install all the random dev shit that you need to compile it. Learn tons of names like libdick0-dev. Learn about how apt-cache search doesn't actually help you find anything.
- Wait hours
- make install, only to realize that you've overwritten files on your system that were owned by other packages and you have no way to go back.
How bout this, I got another option for y'all: ungzip my pants and suck my tarballs. Don't worry, you can do that for free too.