How to write a KDE application

It's quite simple, really.

1. Find semi-successful open source app
2. Convince yourself that writing C++ is the ultimate form of masturbation, and that learning Qt is better than spending time with your girlfriend, because it's so beautiful
3. Remind yourself why MOC doesn't suck.
   
4. Take the name of the app, sed /[cg]/k/, check that you didn't end up with three k's in a row. If there are no k's, stick a k on the front.
   
5. Think of every user-facing function your app could provide
6. Foreach function: create an abstraction layer that supports at least 3 other backends poorly
   
7. Foreach function: create toolbar button
8. Foreach function: create menu item
9. Make sure it has split windows and tabbing and support for KParts. If you can't figure out a UI, just mimic a Windows one.
   
10. Make sure it uses Phonon, and KAddressBook. And a dockable Terminal.
    
11. NEVER use a library with a g in the name. EVER.
    
12. Publish on KDE-Look.org
13. Promise everyone that you're going to port to Windows, then don't
14. Once every few years, use your toolkit rev'ing as an excuse to start over from scratch.

See? Piece of cake! Next time, I'll show you how to write a Gnome one.