Just let it die, please

Don’t panic everyone! Apparently openSUSE is not dead yet.

Seriously though. I wish all SUSE’s would just die. SUSE was born a crack baby, and has grown up to be a crack smoking crack dealer. Even their stupid lizard looks like it’s cracked out. I bet the lizard is really just a vessel used for crack smuggling. Running their distro is more painful than trying to make a call on an OpenMoko. If I was convicted of murder, and the punishment was solitary confinement plus the use of a computer running SuSE, I’d just hang myself. And even worse, If I had to make the choice, I’d run Gentoo before I ran SuSE.

But don’t take it from just from me. Their own developers have a nice list of why you should not use SUSE. That’s some really great marketing work guys.

I don’t think Novell never really gave a shit about openSUSE. They just saw what Redhat did with Fedora, and openSUSE is just a poor “me too” attempt. You know, Linux is about community or something. So let’s just toss our POS distro over the wall, and see if some freetards pick it up. Because, like, that would be totally awesome. The community has infinite free resources, why don’t we harness some? It’s really easy. You just make a wiki page with really tiny fonts, stick an “open” in your name, and call it a day.

Now that money is tight, their true colors show. I don’t give a shit about what any open letter says. It’s the results that matter. And the results say that you guys are getting your breakfast, lunch, and dinner eaten by RHEL, Feodra, CentOS, Ubuntu, and Debian. Why don’t you guys just go spend your time porting your boring management software to distros that actually matter? or work on something that people want, like C#.

But whatever, if you want to port your crack-addled configuration system to yet another UI toolkit, be my guest. Now that Qt is LGPL, you can even port things back! Yay! For those of you that haven’t seen it, here’s the wonderful UI for picking package updates.

And to help you understand that, I’ve added in green, the path that your eye is supposed to take to make sense of things.

So far the only thing I’ve heard that openSUSE is good for is to do development for SLES, and only if you happen to be a poor Novell employee. Because folks tell me that you can’t actually do SLES development using SLES. Yay!

Oh, and we can also thank Novell and SuSE for giving money to jackasses like GregKH. Why is it that the FOSS world attracts so many jackasses? Something about, how I wrote this free software for free and for freedom, so if you do anything with it, I at least get to be a totally pain in your ass. Thanks Novell, for supporting people like GregKH. Why don’t you fund him for another month so he can write a whole new deck about why Ubuntu sucks. Because that makes openSUSE just seem that much better. And it’s like, totally awesome for Linux.