Friday, November 20, 2009

Bad karma

Lets see, it's been almost 18 months since I originally posted Evolution of an Ubuntu user, but looks like they still haven't got their fucking act together.


I know a lot of you freetards out there dream of jobs where you can work on Linux, write code for Linux, and pen flowery blog posts that make it up on hacker news, but let me tell you, unless you're one of the few who are hired by Redhat to contribute nothing to their bottom line and instead work on their playground sand castle known as Fedora, it's going to suck.

So anyways, I had the awesome opportunity to upgrade to Karmic. Cuz I know, like shuttleman says, every Ubuntu release is the best fucking Ubuntu release ever.

Problem #1? Using update-manager to upgrade Ubuntu from behind the firewall is ass-slow. Yep, you guessed it. They try to do something that doesn't respect http_proxy and has to time-out before progressing. What year is this? really guys? Just because Ubuntards work out of their basement, doesn't excuse you from not supporting one of the most common practices in company network environments. I mean, it took us like five years to get you to add that damn option in the installer so that it didn't choke on a fat dick trying to the apt repositories. Now this. Amateur.

And while on the subject of proxies, it looks like your new shiny empathy client doesn't support proxies. Yep, there's a bug for that. Yep that's some empathy right therr. Obviously you totally understand your users get their shit done. Otherwise you wouldn't change my default chat app that fails to download my contact list, even from a server that's behind the proxy.

Problem #2? Wee! Something about my xconfig borked during an upgrade. And now I get a fucking strobe light prompt. I know you want to always give me a challenge to get a reasonable display, but do you actually have to try to damage my eyesight? What the fuck happened to bullet proof X? oh, right maybe that was only for intrepid, because, you know why add a useful feature if you're just going to keep it around for every subsequent release and not rewrite it?

Problem #3? Google reader on firefox is crazy slow. I mean, ff3.5 on jaunty worked just fine. But it's ok, nobody uses google reader. Yep, there's a bug for that, too, with a bunch of awesome Ubuntu contributors saying "me too!" "me too!" OMFG this bug is going to get fixed if we all keep saying me too! How many users does it take to fix a bug? None, you dipshit. You need a dev that gives a fuck.

Problem #4? I'm sure pulseaudio has something to do with this, but the volume on my computer appears to have exactly 3 notches between quiet and SUPER FUCKING TRIPLE SONIC BOOM YOU WIN! Ubuntu -- damaging your senses, one sense at a time. Maybe Linux is totally awesome if you're blind and deaf, and you just connect a serial console to your ass.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, there's a bug for that. Filed in March 2008!

Ok fine, I'm totally going to schedule three work days to upgrade when Lactating Leper comes out. If only there was some calendaring app that I could use to remind me.. because as far as I can see, Evolution is actually devolving. Come on Novell! just a little more. You've almost killed it! Only a few more smacks!