Tuesday, November 22, 2011

here we go again

Just found out about u1db.


The Ubuntu One team have started work on u1db, a project codename for an easy-to-use database API layer which can work on any platform (Ubuntu, web servers, Windows, smartphone platforms) with the existing native databases (SQLite, MySQL, API layers, everything)

Is it just me, or does this sound like the database equivalent of pulse audio? I can't wait until we have the ultimate abstracted UI. The one that lets you watch porn in the same way across all platforms. It will have to be open source, of course.

Seriously though. If I've learned anything, it's that OSS projects can't make a choice. And when you can't make a choice, what do you do? You support all options! Yay! How do we support all options? An abstraction layer! Yay! Abstraction layers are fun to write! Yay!

4650 flames:

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Anonymous said...

Is it just me or it sounds like the team is just about to reinvent JDBC, ODBC and SQL at the same time?

Go, lusers, go!

Anonymous said...

Probably, they remembered the press release on WIn8 that was like "WinFS = Filesystem + SQL". I can imagine that this is something freetards could try to copy.

Any, as long as there is no decent c++/python angry birds clone, I will not switch to linux!

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to have the speed and reliability in my databases that I've come to expect from the guys over at Canonical! A Software Center that takes 15 seconds to launch, a User Interface that makes you feel like you're interacting with your computer underwater, and now a database!

Oh Canonical, you really spoil me.

Santiago said...

YAY!
Canonical is the apple of gnu/linux

a Month ago I said that unity is foolishness:

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/100466170970927492776/100466170970927492776/posts/3FVXeHCW24J

Join the Foolishness, stay Shuttleworth

Technogram said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

But will it provide an API for dealing with .u1conflict files?

The Financial Times said...

The price of comments on LHB bottomed out on trading today after Linux Hater wrote a new blog post, creating another 5,000 new comments.

The Financial Times said...

Prices rallied later in the afternoon, however, based on confidence among traders that the new post is both interesting and likely to cause much butthurt (and therefore commenting) among the Freetard community. Renewed interest in Libertarian butthurt and large lesbian mammaries also spurred investor confidence.

The Financial Times said...

This allayed fears of a run on the comment market, however Ron Paul is still promising to abolish the Linux Hater entirely, insisting comments, 'should be based on a gold standard and not "poofed" into the air, by the Linux Hater, from nothing.'

Anonymous said...

Fuck you, Blogger, for making me split that post up. You piece of shit.

If this is the same spam system they use for GMail, what happens when you write an e-mail that's longer than two paragraphs, does it automatically get filtered as spam?

Anonymous said...

It's the freetard filter.

Owen said...

Actually pulseaudio is pretty cool now, and the way it lets you reroute audio from any application to any audio device is handy when I plug in my DJ audio hardware. The distros switched over to it before it was ready, but it's actually a pretty cool thing.

Pulse Audio PSA said...

Pulse Audio: The exploding deep fryer of sound systems. Don't let this happen to you avoid Pulse Audio at all costs.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Owen the freetard.

Anonymous said...

If it's the Freetard filter: why did Owen's boring post get through.

Also, the analysts were right: this has prompted butthurt among the Freetard community.

Fuck yeah! said...

Pulse audio for all!

Anonymous said...

Slashdot continues to show its extreme bias through +1 interesting mod to a post I wrote purely to appeal to the groupthink. I wonder how long until it's +5.

Google killing off products said...

Google are killing off a bunch more products.

Some of these are things that were DOA, others we've known were going to be killed for some time (like Wave).

Reddit said...

In the interest of promoting Freetard butthurt, I have submitted this to Reddit.

While they will freak out at the criticism, the average Linux user does love a good PulseAudio bashing session.

LinkInName

Anonymous said...

If it's the Freetard filter: why did Owen's boring post get through.

Owen is actually a troll. He is not really a freetard.

WE GET SIGNAL. said...

MAIN SCREEN TURN ON.

Anonymous said...

But how on earth will the freetards agree on an abstraction layer? Or will there be an abstraction layer to wrap the abstraction layer?

Anonymous said...

Owen is actually a troll. He is not really a freetard.

Right, so either the filter is some kind of genius AI or Google hires latte-sipping twats who don't care about improving Blogger's spam detection.

IMO the second option is more likely.

Anonymous said...

Thank you LH for the new post!


-=@ %40 OFF HOOKER GROUPONS @=-

For all for the next 5 minutes!

Anonymous said...

But how on earth will the freetards agree on an abstraction layer? Or will there be an abstraction layer to wrap the abstraction layer?

KDE will use one abstraction layer and GNOME will use a different one.

And don't forget to pronounce u1db correctly, it's: UH OON (like the French number) DUB.

Anonymous said...

the filter is some kind of genius AI

It's genius AI written by latte sipping twats.

Anonymous said...

It's such a genius it'll delete comments containing three paragraphs but if you split those paragraphs across three comments it will leave them alone.

Latte sipping idiots, all of them.

Freetards are idiots said...

OMG Ubuntu: OMG! OMG! OMG! The source to Doom 3 has been released!!!11!one

Comment section: No it hasn't, the source to the engine Doom 3 is based on has been released.

OMG Ubuntu: Yeah, that's what I said.

Comment section: No, it isn't. Please fix your blatantly misleading blog post.

OMG Ubuntu: *ignore*

Just like Moronix, these 'tards have no qualms about posting misleading bullshit and leaving it there forever. I hope all those lying Freetard sites get sued one of these days.

Anonymous said...

Cult leader Shuttleworth tries to rewrite history:

I’m pretty proud of our record of innovation, even we had U1 before iCloud, or the Windows equivalents; we introduced overlay scrollbars first; we designed Unity with a single icon left launcher, and full screen search, before anybody else. Apple’s launchpad, and Gnome Shell all came later.

Source: OMG! Ubuntu (Of course!)

Overlay scrollbars? Really!? So, Shuttleworth's definition of innovative is: "hinders usability".

His Name is Robert Pogson said...

Looks like Robert Pogson and his whole family this time is in trouble.

Moronix said...

More details to come soon on the open-source drop of Doom 3, which will hopefully spark a new wave of more impressive free software games.

It won't. The toolset won't build without MFC, which is not freely available so any hobbyist looking to create a freeware game will have to own Doom 3 and a Windows license to work on their project or purchase Visual Studio 2010.

Also if they are willing to attempt a freeware game without the toolset (which is possible but more time consuming), it won't perform as nicely as Doom 3, thanks to the bypassing of Creative's Patent on 'carmack's reverse.'

Robert Pogson said...

While speaking on the phone with his wife Monday, Linux enthusiast Robert Pogson, defeated Sarge to reach the fifth level of Quake III Arena. "She was telling me about Aunt Gail's thyroid condition when I finally got the Quad Damage powerup I needed to kill Sarge and get to the end of level four," Bob said. "I yelled out, 'Yes! Awesome!' Fortunately, She was right in the middle of telling me the good news about my aunt's goiter getting smaller, so I was sort of able to cover it up."

tar said...

TAR RETURNS

tar said...

U1db is neither an abstraction nor a physical place in the cloud.

When you are nuzzled by a big fuzzy hulk of cross-platform APIs you must be emotionally ready for these occurrences.

Anonymous said...

Tar! Welcome back!

As usual, interesting perspective.

HERMAN CAIN said...

You will serve me in the NetherRealm.

Anonymous said...

You will serve me in the NetherRealm.

As long as you bring these two along, then yes!

Archaeology said...

The CADT development model, as followed by GNOME developers since at least 2003.

This also seems to be the development model followed by Ubuntu and many other Freetard projects.

Anonymous said...

any hobbyist looking to create a freeware game will have to own Doom 3 and a Windows license

This is why I only base freeware games on Python Angry Tux. Because it comes with a level editor for free.

Teach English Me said...

I explain you new thing. I leave jab at nightclob because i need better payment. I try get jab as swim guard, but I not know how swim. Men offer to halp teach me swim, but then we get to pool and they do this me. Why keep happening, is because I am so ugly? No one halps me. But I found them to be kind.

Can't parse HTML said...

You can't parse [X]HTML with regex.

Anonymous said...

@ November 23, 2011 7:29 PM

:guitar: :guitar: :guitar: :guitar:

Moronix said...

Lightworks on Linux is delayed! Oh well, at least we have Novacut, as long as his wife doesn't cry.

Unknown said...

This is probably going to be crap, but it's hardly a particular problem of Linux. Just look at the layer upon layer of Microsoft Data Access Components (MDAC), plus the new new versions of those components for .NET.

Must try harder.

Anonymous said...

Pulseaudio has actually made sound on Linux bearable. After the initial config hurdle - which admittedly shouldn't exist in a modern OS - all my apps are recording and playing sound at the same time without any issues.

Anonymous said...

all my apps are recording and playing sound at the same time without any issues.

You mean that Linux sound is now on par with windows 3.1?

That's only until the next update, which will break everything again.

But don't worry, you'll be able to google the possibly existing solution.

Anonymous said...

all my apps are recording and playing sound at the same time without any issues.

Yeah, the last two months of AC3 passthrough has been awesome.

It's like it was 2000 and you have front row tickets to see Streisand but when you get there it's just a dude in drag singing "The Way We Were" in a basement.

Wanda makes a comeback said...

Why is it the only apps Freetards are willing to support, to the ends of the earth, are pointless distractions like 'Wanda the Fish'?

A Freetard Asks said...

A Freetard asks: Did everyone hate GNOME 2 when it came out?

The replies show the extent Freetards will rage against any change.

Anonymous said...

New Oombooboo software? I smell a LOGO CONTEST!

:guitar:

Anonymous said...

I just sodomized my secretary.

:O

Anonymous said...

Pics or it didn't happen.

Pic said...

Pics or it didn't happen.

There you go.

LinkInName said...

Guy makes a post criticising Ubuntu on Ubuntu Forums: guy gets banned.

What the fuck did he expect from the Freetards?

Anonymous said...

he made me his

LibreOffice lol said...

I'll just leave this here.

Anonymous said...

Linux sucks BALLS.It's the most crappy OS on the Desktop front.

Anonymous said...

Desktop Linux is like the fat chick trying to get the handsome guy. She thinks, if only he would look past my physical flaws of being a landwhale and focus on my personality, he would love me. IF ONLY he would just give me a try. But in reality like all fat chicks, she's a bitter, depressing, vindictive, cockblocking bitch, and completely worthless except to use when absolutely nothing else is going on, or to laugh at. That is Linux.

Anonymous said...

LibreOffice: spraying paint on a turd doesn't change the fact it is a turd.

As regards the fat chick/linux comparison: at least the fat chick gives good head and will let you feel her boobies. Linux does neither and expect you to let it do your ass.

Anonymous said...

I just bought the Humble Introversion Bundle for $0.01. Please do your part to make sure the average Windows users pay drops even further, so that freetards can feel even more superior.

Anonymous said...

New LibreOffice interface will fix all problems. As usual with OMG! Ubuntu articles, commenters have multiple orgasms.

Anonymous said...

@ November 25, 2011 8:02 AM

Sorry I'm too busy playing Skyrim to give a shit about lame ass indie games.

No Fat Chicks said...

You are crazy, fat chicks do not give good head. The don't give head at all.

Mrs. Pike said...

I pepper sprayed the bitch that tried to take my TV!

Rhythmbox to Banshee to Rhythmbox to Banshee!? said...

Update: the Default Apps Discussion blueprint has been updated a few seconds ago and it points out that even though Ubuntu 12.04 will switch to Rhythmbox starting with alpha 1, the Banshee GTK3 port and stability on ARM will be reviewed around Precise beta 1 and it will then be discussed if Ubuntu Precise will stay with Rhythmbox or switch back to Banshee.

So this is what these "developers" at Canonical do all day. Making those really, really hard decisions which freetarded software to include: the crappy one or the crappier one. The Ubuntu community can consider itself lucky to have such dedicated people.

It seems they want to generate excitement, like prior to a Steve Jobs keynote (well, not anymore). Of course, Apple had the luxury to unveil products that weren't total bonkers while the Ubuntu community can only be forcibly fed the same old crap, cycle after cycle.

Anonymous said...

I reckon the real reason for not using Banshee is that it's not Freetarded enough.

They even address bugs raised by their users, and made sure any bugs Canonical found before Banshee was made default were fixed.

In general the developers seem quite sociable and don't mind taking criticism.

Yup, definitely not Freetarded enough.

Anonymous said...

It's because it uses that evil dreaded C# Mono platform that will cause their freetarded micro-peens to shrivel up even smaller.

On LibreOffice's new citrus "look" said...

"The Citrus UI is more than a rearranging of existing elements; it proposes natural and intuitive additions to the LibreOffice experience.

One such example is the 'floatbar' – a UI element that appears above selected text with a minimal set of buttons for quick edits."

So, you mean like Microsoft Office 2007, 2010?

"The design document proposes extending this ‘context aware’ mode to the menus of LibreOffice; although because Ubuntu uses a global menu it would be unable to benefit from such an adaptive change."

So instead of 4 years behind let's keep it 10 years behind. OK.

Anonymous said...

WTF is it with freetards and logo contests and/or mockups.

Why can't they just simply shut the fuck up, write some software, and then announce a working fucking product/project?

It's like they mentally get stuck in an internal brain loop that doesn't allow them to go past the idea.

Anonymous said...

Citrus:

A LibreOffice interface for today, built sometime tomorrow, probably.

Anonymous said...

It's because it uses that evil dreaded C# Mono platform that will cause their freetarded micro-peens to shrivel up even smaller.

But, but, but we have to save the 30MB the .Net runtime takes up on the install DVD!

Anonymous said...

A LibreOffice interface for today, built sometime tomorrow, probably.

With all bugs eventually marked as: WON'T FIX

Anonymous said...

With all bugs eventually marked as: WON'T FIX

But, but, but version 0.0.97 is a complete rewrite. It fixes everything and anything it doesn't fix, well the onice is on you to prove it's still a problem.

Don't like it? It's free, what do you expect?

Anonymous said...

Never mind that shit, here's the world's largest gummy bear.

Anonymous said...

@November 25, 2011 1:11 PM:

When I was freetarded, I would've used this (link in name) to create some sort of artificial "those are just the bad ones" division.

These days, I expect ESR to argue that a well-made logo counts as "showing them" what you can crank out.

ingeniero said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

It's all more of the same.
I attended a VB.NET + ADO course, and luckily I had to endure only four days of that shit. And before someone says any strange stupid thing, I'm not defending FOSS anyway.
On the Linux side, there's out MySQL C API, consistent, really better than Access' ADO-VB one and fine running. But what happens then? Lots of pointers. Segment faults. Memory leaks. Highly hard to use. You can't do even the smallest mistake and everything must be in your head. And its bindings only generate overhead and bloat. The only good of they is the PHP one.
Coming back to Access, its OLE handling of images is a fucking crap, and if you wish to insert any bitmap, it will only let you to insert Paint images. At least MySQL allows you to insert the binary data directly, then you can load it with a query, and then validate and draw it with the Gdk-Pixbuf library (pointers and more pointers again), but a 500x300 image takes up 20 KB instead of half a MB, thanks to JPEG compression. Either way, you're going to find lots of problems.

Anonymous said...

Never mind that shit, here's the world's largest gummy bear.

I bought one of those, cut a slit in the back side and fucked it for hours.

Anonymous said...

On the Linux side, there's out MySQL C API, consistent, really better than Access' ADO-VB one and fine running.

Let me get this straight: you're comparing MySQL to Access? Try comparing MySQL to SQL Server.

But that's your freetarded tunnel vision.

Anonymous said...

@November 25, 2011 8:29 PM:

Freetardation, like most delusions, requires one to start at the conclusion (commercial software holds no significant advantage) and then cherry-pick evidence to support it.

That, and freetards figure once they've arguably achieved parity with any one commercial product, they're done. Closed is closed, amirite?

Anonymous said...

But that's your freetarded tunnel vision.

And this is a flying shark.

Anonymous said...

Let me get this straight: you're comparing MySQL to Access? Try comparing MySQL to SQL Server.

I don't care about comparing SQL Server. Anyway, what can we do to replace Access by SQL Server in every fucking project which uses Access? I would be great so I don't have to fiddle with a shitty VB6-made interface that fails to do a search which includes the '-' character each time I go to a library. Also, those employees working at the convenience stores and such places would be really happy to use well-organized interfaces. As I clearly said before, I'm not defending anything in particular, I only want software that really works and is efficient.

Anonymous said...

I don't care about comparing SQL Server.

I know you don't because you want to whine and bitch about something.

Anyway, what can we do to replace Access by SQL Server in every fucking project which uses Access?

Riiiiight because everyone using Access is inserting images - and more specifically, knows the difference between a JPG and/or a BMP.

People who use Access are office assistants who need a little more than what Excel offers, specifically a form to enter the data into so that they can look "l33t" in front of their boss and keep their job. I have yet to see a "convenience store" clerk use Access; they're too busy selling scratchcards and cigarettes.

I would be great so I don't have to fiddle with a shitty VB6-made interface that fails to do a search—

Two things wrong with this: 1) VB died years ago, C# is the new standard now and 2) anything that can be done with Access in terms of creating UIs is more than what you get with MySQL.

Keep flailing freetard, it amuses us.

Anonymous said...

I know you don't because you want to whine and bitch about something.

Whereas you just want to whine and bitch about someone and have chosen him as your current target...

I have yet to see a "convenience store" clerk use Access; they're too busy selling scratchcards and cigarettes.

Never taken an inventory on anything, have you? Clerks often do that.

1) VB died years ago, C# is the new standard now and

Which means nothing to anyone using legacy crapware, which is just about everyone in some capacity, with the exception of the whiny brats on the internet who always lie about using the latest and greatest.

2) anything that can be done with Access in terms of creating UIs is more than what you get with MySQL.

But you don't get the general confusion of how to pronounce it with Access, that is more important than anything! That trumps the logo!

Anonymous said...

"Riiiiight because everyone using Access is inserting images - and more specifically, knows the difference between a JPG and/or a BMP."

Can you upload a picture?

Anonymous said...

People who use Access are office assistants who need a little more than what Excel offers, specifically a form to enter the data into so that they can look "l33t" in front of their boss and keep their job.

Are you serious? You wouldn't believe what absurdly large applications people build with Access in real life. People who are clearly not office assistants. Is it sensible? In most cases, no. Why do they still do it? Because they can.

I'd actually claim that for many situations Access is one of Microsoft's most undervalued "killer" tools.

Anonymous said...

The value of Access is you don't need an IT staff. An end-user can futz around with it and generally get a 90% solution. I fucking dare anyone to claim that about MySQL.

Freetards whine about Access for the same reason they whine about any decent software: it democratizes technology. Freetards want IT to be a fucking mystery so they can have some sliver of power to lord over the people they presume would've picked on them had they gone to high school together.

Anonymous said...

SoftMaker Office 2008

An alternative office suite for Windows AND Linux. At no cost. As is indicated by the title, it's from 2008. Way back. Yet it is much more pleasant to use than the freetard's gem, LibreOffice.

pfft! said...

"Record of innovation"???

My what a pompous little prick Shuttleworthington must be.

If he truly wanted to "innovate" in a meaningful way to the end user, then from 4.04 onwards he should have focused on not only freeing Joe Luser from the biannual forced upgrade deathmarch that is an accepted bit of masochism all over the linux world, but refrained from adopting it himself!

Long Legs is the one feature that Windows has that freetards are more than happy to NOT imitate!

That is why we mock you. That is why GNU (don't forget that or it makes Stallman cry) slash Linux is a tinkertoy that the general public has a statistically insignificant interest in.

The only thing worse than a smug and blinkered idealist is a Pogson-class true believer. The sort that accept this sort of crap and insist that it's perfect, DESPITE the fact that it BREAKS every 6 months!

Hell, back in the day, Windows 98 "power users" got used to the fact that they'd have to reinstall every 6 months to a year to keep the thing from getting crufty. We sure as shit didn't accept that this was a reasonable practice, however!

Drupal Rockstars! said...

I see a post like the LinkInName and the passive/aggressive tone of the post and think, I bet what you really wanted to say was:

OMG! How could you not know that "shit doesn't work" is related to "Views substitutions broken after db_safe() update"?!! How dare you make me interact with other humans, FUUUUUUUUCK! CUNT! CUNT! CUNT!

FUCKING SEARCH FOR THE EXACT TECHNICAL DESCRIPTION OF THE PROBLEM NEXT TIME EVEN THOUGH IT IS IN NO WAY OBVIOUS FROM THE SYMPTOMS AS THE USER SEES THEM!

*slits wrists in protest at lusers stupidity*

Anonymous said...

Whereas you just want to whine and bitch about someone and have chosen him as your current target...

No, I'm just correcting you with your flawed attempt at logic as you shift goal posts.

Never taken an inventory on anything, have you? Clerks often do that.

Speaking of goal post shifting, now it's clerks and not convenience store clerks? I have yet to see a convenience store clerk using Access; all of the convenience store clerks I've ever seen a) don't have a computer in front of them (other than the POS dumb terminal) and don't seem like the types that even know what a computer is.

Which means nothing to anyone using legacy crapware,

So, Access is crapware? That's why it's still being sold then? Sure.

with the exception of the whiny brats on the internet who always lie about using the latest and greatest.

Um, OK. I'm starting to get a picture of your life: you work at a convenience store, you tried to make things easier for yourself by using Access, had trouble importing mugshots of employees and ... well, you're still stuck working at a convenience store. Getting warm?

Keep flailing freetard.

Anonymous said...

Sorry that should have been "luser's", I'm so sorry I made a grammatical error of this magnitude.

I HATE MYSELF and must now take out my self-loathing on some hapless users who have dared to raise bugs in MY issue queues.

Drupal Rockstars! said...

Sorry, dereine has a Certified to Rock score of 9 and is therefore officially a Drupal Rockstar®

dereine is officially superior to YOU.

Anonymous said...

PHP sucks, Drupal sucks. But that's why freetards flock to it.

Anonymous said...

@ November 26, 2011 10:10 AM

lol, sure.

Anonymous said...

PHP sucks, Drupal sucks. But that's why freetards flock to it.

You don't have a Certified to Rock® score. Your argument is invalid.

I could only get a job in McDonalds, my family thought the money they paid for my CS degree was a waste and women wouldn't even look at me.

Now I have a Certified to Rock® score, I have a six-figure salary, my family love me and my peen grew two inches! I'm fucking two supermodels as I type this!

Anonymous said...

@November 26, 2011 11:25 AM:

Ooh! What a sick burn.

Anonymous said...

@November 26, 2011 12:00 PM

+ 5 funny

Hooker groupons for you sir!

Anonymous said...

@ November 26, 2011 12:01 PM

Well it just isn't worth the five minutes it would take to point out that he is a moron, quoting out of context, entirely lacking in reading comprehension, and responding to someone other than the person he started arguing with.

Because I just don't give enough of a fuck to set that moron straight about his opinion, "lol, sure" will have to suffice.

Anonymous said...

Because I just don't give enough of a fuck to set that moron straight about his opinion, "lol, sure" will have to suffice.

Wait, you argued in defense of a freetard with idiocy like convenience store clerks writing Access software and you're calling him a moron?

lol, sure.

Anonymous said...

@November 26, 2011 2:35 AM
Are you serious? You wouldn't believe what absurdly large applications people build with Access in real life. People who are clearly not office assistants. Is it sensible? In most cases, no. Why do they still do it? Because they can.

It wouldn't be bad if you list several of them.
With links, please.

Anonymous said...

November 25, 2011 10:47 PM
Two things wrong with this: 1) VB died years ago, C# is the new standard now and 2) anything that can be done with Access in terms of creating UIs is more than what you get with MySQL.

1. Amazingly, there's some people, including IT experienced professionals, who still use VB6. The same thing with Windows XP, whose last Service Pack (version 3) was released more than 3 years ago. VB is not completely dead, it's surviving on the .NET framework just behind C#.

2. Access allows to create UIs, but they very limited. Other DB engines do not include such features because thay have little practical value. Better go serious and use tools specifically designed for creating UIs instead of playing with Access like a idiotic kid. In fact, you can connect MySQL, SQL Server, etc., etc. to .NET with ADO if using the VS interface designer is what you want, or well use GTK+ or Qt and C/C++ APIs.

Anonymous said...

Access allows [one] to create UIs, but they [are] very limited. Other DB engines do not include such features because thay have little practical value.

Do Visual FoxPro or Oracle Forms still exist?

Anonymous said...

2. Access allows to create UIs, but they very limited. Other DB engines do not include such features because thay have little practical value.

Absolutely, but the freetard and his butthurt defender (assuming they are actually different people which I am doubtful of) were/was arguing/comparing the limitations of Access and MySQL and going off about convenience store clerks writing software in between selling lotto tickets and cigarettes.

Anonymous said...

You wouldn't believe what absurdly large applications people build with Access in real life. People who are clearly not office assistants.

Exactly! Why just the other day my paper boy was walking down the street and I heard him yell: dammit Access, why are your forms always so hard to build!

Later that night my grandma was writing a VB form and was complaining something about a failed form search which includes the '-' character.

It's true if you heard it on teh 1nt3rn3tz!!11

Anonymous said...

Wait, you argued in defense of a freetard with idiocy like convenience store clerks writing Access software and you're calling him a moron?

No, he's calling you a moron because you have no reading comprehension, idiot.

Anonymous said...

mmmm.... assburgers.

Anonymous said...

No, he's calling you a moron because you have no reading comprehension, idiot.

It's OK we understand. All anyone wants are their lotto tickets and cigarettes; they just don't appreciate your efforts in VB and Access.

But we here at LHB sure appreciate your hard work and effort in writing those Access forms.

Anonymous said...

O My Pack of Morons. Including the Linux hater

https://blueprints.launchpad.net/elementaryos/+spec/content-centric-sync Read what this is. The thing is about syncing between desktop and remote server.

This is not a replacement to JDBC ODBC or SQL. None of those are location to location replication and data syncing.

You have to custom code you replication code using those.

Abstraction layers have been used for years in postgresql to create database replication.

"synchronized database" Now what I wonder is how is the system going to hand conflicts.

Simple fact we have been needing a tool that did this. Find another tool that fully support data-syncing of databases in a broken pattern.

Simple fact LHB is scrapping the bottom of barrel when LHB has to beat up something that is a new feature that does not exist anywhere else as a defect.

Anonymous said...

Simple fact LHB is scrapping the bottom of barrel when LHB has to beat up something that is a new feature that does not exist anywhere else as a defect.

Is new API opinnionated? Is new API ready for cloud?

Simple fact Canonical is scrapping bottom of barrel when Canonical has to beat meat to new hooker groupon treat prostitute with AIDS as a defect.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, yeah.

Looks like Ohio Ham is back.

Anonymous said...

It is impossible for ohioham/squanto to be anonymous.

Anonymous said...

"Is new API ready for cloud?"

Its not exactly cloud either.

Its not ready for the cloud but is being designed to solve a particular issue.

Syncing between cloud stored databases and local stored databases. So allowing connection to cloud to be broken without disruptions to what user is doing.

It is creating a halfway point between cloud and locally hosted. Nice if your cloud host disappear for some reason you will be able to upload you locally hosted to another cloud provider.

New feature cloud provider independence not found in any of the exist database abstraction layers. Because those were designed before the idea of cloud.

Funny anyone calling you guys a pack of morons has to be Ohio Ham. LOL. This just shows what grade of morons you are.

If you had read the link proper you would have worked out that LHB cannot read to save himself.

Ohio Ham said...

Hooker groupons make sex for win and other hooker discounts not unlike Windows where boobs is not unlike another man and Linux makes it all work.

Anonymous said...

So I'm coming late to the party here but I just want to clarify what's being discussed:

Unsubstantiated claims that sudden and vast numbers of convenience store clerks are uprising against Microsoft and their limited support of VB.net to allow non-BMP images and the dash character to be placed within searches for Microsoft Access.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and that Ohio Ham is back.

Anonymous said...

Funny anyone calling you guys a pack of morons has to be Ohio Ham. LOL. This just shows what grade of morons you are.

As apposed to someone like yourself who's suggesting that convenience store clerks are writing software in between ringing in our midnight burrito runs.

Anonymous said...

It wouldn't be bad if you list several of them. With links, please.

Oh my God! I forgot the proof for the Access haters! Bad, bad, bad.

Well, I can't offer you proof. Unless you begin to scour companies. I'm not talking about applications that are commercially sold, I'm talking about applications developed and used internally in companies. I once had the pleasure of porting a business forecasting application from Excel to Access at my old company in Germany. It filled a niche, and we even were able to "sell" it to other departments.

You seem to forget that most large companies (at least that's the case in Germany) use a Microsoft Office variant that comes with Access. It's the poor layman's development environment. And as such it works. It works almost too good, as I have seen much too many badly thought out Access applications, complete with ridiculous database design.

You can even earn REAL money as an Access consultant. Imagine that.

Of course, you can claim that it all doesn't exist. But I don't really care about that.

Is Ubuntu not popular? said...

Head loon Benjamin Humphrey of OMG! Ubuntu fame (?) is butthurt much that Ubuntu's popularity is questioned. After being pleased by Shuttleworth's cock, he wrote a brilliant article.

Andrew Tanenbaum: Minix, Linux said...

Ah, I totally missed this. Here's a great interview with Andrew Tanenbaum, where he talks about Minix and demystifies Linux FUD. Some parts I liked:

Also it is easy to overestimate what companies have contributed. Usually it is things that benefit them directly, like making sure their drivers and programs work on Linux. (on contributions to Linux by companies)

I don't buy it. He is speculating about something he knows nothing about. Our modules are extremely well defined because they run in separate address spaces. If you want to change the memory manager, only one module is affected. Changing it in Linux is far more complicated because it is all spaghetti down there. (on Linus not endorsing microkernels)

If open-source and GPL were the way to go, you'd find hundreds of open-source products that dominated their markets instead of half a dozen. (on the superiority of the GPL model)

I have seen reports on market share in the embedded world. Linux isn't winning it at all. About 30% have no operating system and another 30% have a home-brew operating system. The rest is divided into many tiny segments with QNX, Green Hills, VxWorks, Linux, NetBSD and many other players having a chunk. (on Linux "winning" in the embedded market)

Great stuff. Freetards are butthurt, as usual:

Reddit

Slashdot

Anonymous said...

Andrew Tanenbaum: Minix, Linux said... LOL

Last person on earth you ask to read embed OS numbers. No formal OS home brew OS can in fact be a custom Linux for the task.

The current figure for Linux kernel in embedded devices is 55+ percent in reports you have to pay for.

Andrew Tanenbaum likes to forget early days of Windows only way you could build for it was pay for a complier so you could not afford to give programs away for free because you had to recover the cost of the complier. So FOSS was frozen out from end users at a key point in history. Along with other MS actions under mining FOSS competition.

Andrew Tanenbaum is tunnelled view of the world as normal. Says that BSD lost to Linux because it was locked out at a key time. Failing to notice that FOSS was also locked out from desktop at a key time as well.

In fact BSD coders were not blocked by AT&T from code releasing at the same time as Linux.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USL_v._BSDi The case in question.

1992-1993 note case fully over by 1993. Yet the wikipedia about BSD talks about a 2 year slow down when the legal disruption was only 1 and Andrew Tannenbaum tries to claim 3. Hello super bogus Andrew Tannenbaum trying to cover up why his OS never got anywhere.

Year Linux started getting traction against BSD 1995 because up until that point BSD was better quality something went wrong in 1995. After the court case was won.

Please be aware AT&T never ever placed a case against BSD over anything.

The phone number thing is really a beat up. Never happened the way Andrew Tanenbaum said.

The open group took control of the Unix trademark in 1993. In fact BSD is licensed to use it.

"Four of the BSD guys had just formed a company to sell BSD commercially."
He never says the company name.

Infighting over the source base started and BSD degraded into crap as each support company started keeping there own secret mixes.

After this BSD split into three distince branches in 1995. FreeBSD OpenBSD netbsd.

Yes what happened to BSD makes Linux distro mess look tidy.

What year was BSD open source 1991 the same year as Linux started.

GPL license prevents what happened with early BSD support companies of secret fixes. Ie pay as and we will send you a binary that works issue happened with BSD support companies.

The truth is important.

Anonymous said...

The current figure for Linux kernel in embedded devices is 55+ percent in reports you have to pay for.

And you're going to tell us which reports? Are they published by the Linux Foundation?

The truth is important.

Oh yeah, the "truth". And we all know that on Wikipedia there's written nothing but the "truth". ROFL.

Stop smoking pot.

Anonymous said...

Save them , Lord Jesus.

Anonymous said...

Trolls trolling trolls, how perverse.

Anonymous said...

@November 27, 2011 8:27 AM:

You're new to this site, aren't you?

Anonymous said...

No, he's just seen "Attack of the Clones". This was presumably the only line that stuck, the rest of the movie he was busy undressing Natalie Portman in his head.

Anonymous said...

Ubuntard after lobotomy. (But perhaps he already was like this before.)

Anonymous said...

Well, I can't offer you proof.

We know this.

Of course, you can claim that it all doesn't exist. But I don't really care about that.

Are you tired yet from all the running around and moving goal posts?

We're not letting you off the hook freetard; you originally stated that convenience store clerks were (en mass) using Access for inventory.

Keep flailing like a good little freetard. It amuses us.

Anonymous said...

The current figure for Linux kernel in embedded devices is 55+ percent in reports you have to pay for.

So where I can I buy the report?

Anonymous said...

Stop smoking pot.

I smoke pot and I'm not freetarded. I must take exception to your comment sir!

Anonymous said...

Trolls trolling trolls, how perverse.

Welcome to MiguelSoft®! Please to make yourself at home.

Anonymous said...

Love that OMG! Ubuntu! blog post:

Many of these articles suggest that the backlash over the Unity desktop is to blame, as swarms of Ubuntu users flock to alternatives. This is complete nonsense, and these sites are just attempting to ride the Unity controversy train for another couple of stops for more page hits. Don’t join them.

Oh, you mean like Windows Vista?

Anonymous said...

Oh, you mean like Windows Vista?

+5 funny

You brought lulz!

Anonymous said...

Love that OMG! Ubuntu! blog post:

I especially love how they call that journalism.

EveryonesAJournalist(TM)

Anonymous said...

We're not letting you off the hook freetard; you originally stated that convenience store clerks were (en mass) using Access for inventory.

That was someone else, you dumb schmuck.

As I wrote, I don't give a crap what you think in your little basement all day long.

Also, show me the freetard who'd endorse a Microsoft product.

Why Windows Sucks said...

The replies are more lulzy than the original post.

Anonymous said...

That was someone else, you dumb schmuck.

No it wasn't.

As I wrote, I don't give a crap what you think in your little basement all day long.

Yes you do or you wouldn't respond to him.

Anonymous said...

No, he's just seen "Attack of the Clones".

What's "Attack of the Clones," you'll have to explain this reference.

This was presumably the only line that stuck, the rest of the movie he was busy undressing Natalie Portman in his head.

Who's Natalie Portman?

Anonymous said...

Also, show me the freetard who'd endorse a Microsoft product.

Oooh, pick me! Pick me! I'm a Freetard and I loved working with MS Access.

It's not only a good way to build simple database applications, you can use ODBC to hook it up to other database systems and use its query builder to create reports. Quite a lot easier and less expensive than Crystal Reports.

The only thing that really fucked me off about it was that the query builder would re-format your SQL.

One thing I never used it to do, but that sounds cool, is hook it up to MSSQL, using Access to create a front end to a 'real' database system.

Anonymous said...

As I wrote, I don't give a crap what you think in your little basement all day long.

Dance freetard puppet dance!

Anonymous said...

Oooh, pick me! Pick me! I'm a Freetard and I loved working with MS Access.

Sorry, the definition of a freetard prevents you from loving Microsoft products. So you can't call yourself a freetard. If Richard Stallman knew he'd excommunicate you right away.

Anonymous said...

Also, show me the freetard who'd endorse a Microsoft product.

You freetards don't endorse, you just quietly use. Otherwise WINE in Linux wouldn't exist.

Anonymous said...

Did you guts read Adam King's latest blog post before he deleted it?

That perverted bastard Queef knocked his mom up. His mother is pregnant with his kid! That sick perverted fuck!

Get help, Adam!

Anonymous said...

You freetards don't endorse, you just quietly use. Otherwise WINE in Linux wouldn't exist.

-=@ %80 OFF MIGUELSOFT GROUPONS @=-

That so beautiful you get award MiguelSoft grande coupon for free buttfucking.

You think you know want big black penizz in your azz but when it go in, smooth like silk, you learn that buttfuck is best fuck.

Idiots said...

It's amazing how freetards can bleat on about the deficiencies of Windows' file copy (often moaning about the estimated time not being correct to the last millisecond) yet, Gnome desktop can go and delete files when you're simply rename them.

Good to see that the many eyes found that bug before anything got released.

Anonymous said...

@November 27, 2011 2:09 PM

Come on, be fair. This only happened because the user had the audacity to change from the default 'Delete File' shortcut key.

That particular shortcut was carefully chosen (after months of usability testing and focus groups) to avoid having to rewrite a bunch of code in the rename functions.

Genius said...

I couldn't manage to find a cleaner way of fixing it than resuming this old
patch of mine, and finding out why copy/paste did not work properly - it turns
out we ate the Ctrl+V keybinding on purpose to avoid the typeahead find search
widget to pop up

Anonymous said...

You'd think the geniuses behind blogger would add a feature to ignore line endings in pasted text, like all other comment systems.

Moronix said...

Epic nutjobs are epic.

7-11 Store Clerk said...

I am having trouble filtering a field on a subform. Can you guys help me?

I'm getting no help/love from www.conveniencestoreclerks.com/forums/7-11

Anonymous said...

You have to control-drag the fields, I think. I'm not sure; I last used Access in 1998.

CAPTCHA: hifill (I guess you could also try that.)

Anonymous said...

I am having trouble filtering a field on a subform. Can you guys help me?

Use Google. If you can't manage that, try smashing your head against the cash register. I'd recommend four or five times. If you start to bleed, you can stop. Alternatively you could order some Stallman perfume, made from his sweat. It will improve your cognitive abilities in no time. There are side effects, though.

Anonymous said...

FTFY:

www.conveniencestoreclerks.com/forums/Access/7-11

Ubuntu TV said...

Ubuntu TV, lol. it's just at the mockup stage but it's already looking shit.

Anonymous said...

Ken Starks with another one of those Microsoft is so behind in security while Linux doesn't get viruses posts. Yawn!

Funny that clowns like him cry bloody murder over Microsoft not including anti-virus software by default, then question the legality of it, implying that this could hinder competition. Because: didn't they just condemn Microsoft's decision not to update 3rd party applications through Windows Update WITHOUT considering for a minute that there very well could be political ramifications to it? Every freetard would condemn a Microsoft-owned software repository.

Anonymous said...

Ubuntu TV? These are the ugliest mockups I've ever seen. Are they aiming for the final product to become even uglier? Perhaps they should hire the GNU/Linux Angry Birds guys for writing the code. If so much talent gets together ...

It Happened! said...

Steam's on linux.

Anonymous said...

Every freetard would condemn a Microsoft-owned software repository.

They already have, or weren't you around for the Windows 8 discussion? Anyway I have to go and install steam on linux now that it's gone native.

Anonymous said...

They already have, or weren't you around for the Windows 8 discussion?

Everyone who disagreed with you about Win 8 is a Freetard who was complaining about their app store.

I see what you did there. Sorry to disappoint you, but we're not Freetards and the app store wasn't what we were complaining about either (unless it becomes the *only* way to install software on Windows 8, because that would be a fucking disaster).

Anonymous said...

From the Steam site:

To get the best performance we will need to wait for Valve to release a native Steam client (which is now rumoured to be happening).

Complete with a link to Moronix!

Anonymous said...

Aha ha ha ha ha ...

Steam not native to Linux ...

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ...

Wait until your basement suite is rented to someone else because your mom needs money after retirement freetards.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to disappoint you, but we're not Freetards and the app store wasn't what we were complaining about either

Was it the incessant moaning about the metro UI?

Anonymous said...

This should become a comprehensive guide to install and use Steam under a Linux environment.

...

To do: Add a guide to get Steam running.

Anonymous said...

winetricks steam.exe

This command alone holds everything that can be said about the current status of linux.

Anonymous said...

Tell me: what good would a native Steam client be if there are no games for it? The freetards have Desura. That's enough for them. Personally, I'd recommend them GORILLAS.BAS. It even comes with the CODE. Let's not forget DONKEY.BAS. You can have hours of fun with these two casual games, then port them to all useless programming languages you know.

Anonymous said...

Donkey.bas will stop here:

1170 IF (PEEK(&H410) AND &H30)<>&H30 THEN DEF SEG:GOTO 1291
1180 WIDTH 80:CLS:LOCATE 3,1
1190 PRINT "HOLD IT!"
1200 PRINT "YOU'RE NOT USING THE COLOR/GRAPHICS MONITOR ADAPTER!"
1210 PRINT "THIS PROGRAM USES GRAPHICS AND REQUIRES THAT ADAPTER."
1220 PRINT "PRESS THE SPACE BAR TO CONTINUE."

Anonymous said...

Everyone who disagreed with you about Win 8 is a Freetard who was complaining about their app store.

Not everyone, just you.

I see what you did there.

No, you don't.

Sorry to disappoint you, but we're not Freetards

That remains to be proven.

and the app store wasn't what we were complaining about either

translation: whine, whine, whine, whine, whine.

that would be a fucking disaster

Not really your whining will be amusing.

Anonymous said...

My favorite part of u1db:

Status:
Not Started

I don't follow Ubuntu much, but from reading this blog, I believe the next two phases are:

Status:
Logo Contest

Followed by:

Status:
::guitar::

Anonymous said...

The many eyes fail again. Apache Flaw Allows Internal Network Access.

Anonymous said...

Oh and like the last Apache flaw the freetards are working hard to downplay it and instead blame the "lusers".

Anonymous said...

@November 28, 2011 5:27 AM

Meh. The only whining was you.

The only anon here to say anything positive about Win8 was you and you couldn't even defend it, you just ragequit in a storm of butthurt.

Cry some more, Freetard.

Anonymous said...

* The only one whining was you.

Anonymous said...

The only anon here to say anything positive about Win8 was you and you couldn't even defend it, you just ragequit in a storm of butthurt.

Cry some more, Freetard.


So an anon defending Windows 8 is a freetard? Sniffing glue again?

Seriously, kill yourself. You'll do the gene pool at large a great service by doing so.

Anonymous said...

- Won't accept criticism of his chosen OS, no matter how valid it is. Check.

- Gets smacked down multiple times by multiple anons, ragequits, then comes back a few weeks later still spouting the same bullshit. Check.

- Makes bullshit claims like, "You never even used Windows 8!" When shown proof that we have, gets butthurt and demands people kill themselves. Check.

- Says stuff like, "You just hate change!" Check.

- Thinks we should like their chosen OS because it's better than a particular version of some other OS, despite those not being the only options. Check.

- Has nothing left. Check.

You're basically a Freetard, but instead of defending FOSS you defend Microsoft.

Who touched Sasha?!

Anonymous said...

An Ubuntu advert is being shown in Portugal for some shitty, cheap laptop Asus are selling there.

What OMG! Ucuntu! Carefully brushes over is the version of Ubuntu in the ad dates back to 2009 and all the software is old too.

Well done Canonical, you've managed to sell an OS you don't even support anymore! :guitar: :guitar:

LinkInName said...

Hurrr, forgot the link.

Anonymous said...

Self-taught LongCodez(TM) programming Slashtard asks: "How do I get hired with no degree or job experience?"

Anonymous said...

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! New mockups for Nautilus from the Gnome team! :guitar: :guitar: :guitar:

Anonymous said...

"I've worked for a short time at a web dev shop but mostly have just done freelance projects and here-and-there stuff for websites or projects, many of which have gone under or are no longer accessible."

Heh, sounds like Metro-hater Win8 guy.

Anonymous said...

No sounds like ThomasB.

Anonymous said...

New mockups for Nautilus from the Gnome team!

Kind of looks like this:

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12351154

Anonymous said...

I've worked for a short time at a web dev shop but mostly have just done freelance projects and here-and-there stuff for websites or projects, many of which have gone under or are no longer accessible

Sounds like the loon battle cry:

"I don't have no schooling 'cause I don't need it, I write LongPHPCodez(TM) and everything I develop kills business!"

Anonymous said...

>I have yet to see a convenience store clerk using Access

Right, and that proves convenience store clerks do not use Access. "True for you", eh, wintard? Or, should that be "WorksForMe(TM)"? *snicker*

Anonymous said...

Wait, laughing at your nonsense and then going on with life is a rage quit now?

Seems a bit of a stretch, but ok.

Anonymous said...

Right, and that proves convenience store clerks do not use Access

No no freetard, you originally stated that convenience store clerks are happless Access programmers, come up with some stats.

At least attempt some outdated irrelevant stats as Pogson does. Give us a challenge.

Anonymous said...

>No no freetard, you originally stated that convenience store clerks are happless Access programmers, come up with some stats.

That wasn't me, wintard!

I am simply pointing out how you are acting like the freetards you criticize incessantly. You haven't seen any convenience clerks use Access, and that makes it "true for you", eh? I wonder why you bums have such big problem with freetards saying something "worksforme". Can you answer me that, bitch? *snicker*

Anonymous said...

Wow this one guy stopping with himself over access and convenience store clerks is boring. And if it is two people, get a room and piss off.

Anonymous said...

Arguing not stopping. Stupid autocomplete.

Anonymous said...

I am simply pointing out how you are acting like the freetards you criticize incessantly.

Sorry, you'll have to provide references to a study done that prove convenience store clerks are using Access.

Anonymous said...

>Sorry, you'll have to provide references to a study done that prove convenience store clerks are using Access.

Sorry, you will have to explain why you expect to get away with "worksforme" while you constantly find fault with the freetards for saying the exact same thing.

Are all wintards freetards at heart? *snicker*

Anonymous said...

"Any programming problem can be solved by adding a level of indirection. "

Anonymous said...

"Any programming problem can be solved by adding a level of MiguelSoft®."

Anonymous said...

And if it is two people, get a room and piss off.

User banned for using autocomplete in forum. Temp ban - 10 min.

- LHB

Anonymous said...

I'm just here for the hooker groupons. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

No no freetard, you originally stated that convenience store clerks are happless Access programmers, come up with some stats.

No, you little dipshit. I (not the other Anonymous) answered this brain-fart of yours:

People who use Access are office assistants who need a little more than what Excel offers, specifically a form to enter the data into so that they can look "l33t" in front of their boss and keep their job.

And in my answer I didn't refer to office assistants at all. If you can't believe that Access is widely used in many companies, and not primarily by office assistants, then perhaps it's about time to leave the basement and get a real job.

Maybe you want to tell Microsoft about it, too. Apparently Access is such a failure that they continue developing and selling it.

Anonymous said...

Java weenie returns to argue about Access.

Anonymous said...

His name is java sissy buy. Get it right.

Anonymous said...

Slashtard hero sells his company to twitter. Much butthurt is sure to ensue.

Anonymous said...

His name is java sissy buy. Get it right.

Says the buy betting it wronb.

Anonymous said...

Well we can't win 'em all.

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