Friday, July 27, 2012

Your free software website, for dummies

There is a certain art to buidling a website for your open source project.Before you create your own, make sure you know and follow the rules. You’ll thank me later.

It’s simple, really. It’s all about the first impression.

In particular, your site’s first page must communicate the following points:


  • It must mention the fact that your software is open source or free, or whatever bastardly combination of the two, even before explaining what your software does. Extra points if you mention exactly which license you use, and if you help educate the masses about how speech and beer are in fact, different worldly entities. Studies show that if your users do not understand exactly whether binary linking is allowed with your software, they will not use it.
  • If the name of your software is an acronym, you must explain what the acronym stands for, with even more confusing terms.
  • You must note which programming language your software is coded in, because that’s the first thing that any potential user will care about.
  • You must note how your program is modularized, and anyone can add modules and customize it to actually do what it was supposed to just do in the first place.
  • You must mention that your software is localized. Because, crappy software is somehow better when it speaks your language.
  • You must immediately jump into a “recent announcements” section, which has items that only the 3 developers on your project would possibly understand or derive any value from. Extra points if you have an embedded commit log.
  • You must mention that your software runs on at least 5 irrelevant platforms.
  • A personal favor, please note whether your application is multithreaded. I only download multithreaded software.
  • Refer to your application as a framework. Since all good great applications are framework. Firefox is a browsing framework. Gimp is a image processing framework. iTunes is a music listening framework. See?
  • Don’t ever call it an installer. Call it a binary distribution. Better yet, make sure the only way to install is through github. Make sure your github page offers no clues on what to do once you’re there.

There. Now you’re equipped to go create a site can compete with the best of ‘em. You’re welcome.

5000 flames:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 5000   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

OMG OMG OMG a new Linux Hater Blog post. What should I do?

I know!

.
.
.


... First.

Unknown said...

ah i love these posts.

Anonymous said...

Third!!!!

Дончо said...

Good job, amusing read :)

Tar said...

Very worthy read

tar said...

LOL

tar said...

Don't forget Mirror Sites! Mirror Sites are important!

This is so that tearing of internet cables in the Atlantic, major quakes along the San Andreas or New Madrid, web site will switch to one of the other mirror sites.

Anonymous said...

Does Tar have a Twitter? I need someone cogent I can mindlessly repeat the ideas of.

Tar said...

You can follow me on the Usenet. It is a supportive atmosphere and creates a community of like-minded people through the bandwidth.

Future FOSS developer said...

Kid tries to install Ubuntu on all the school's computers to promote "computer science", escalates into an epic political struggle.

I'm expecting a Python Angry Tux from this guy any day now..

Stoffe said...

...interesting: It's almost like it's the first guy who wrote here in 2008(?) somehow got back and wrote another post after years and years of someone else's posts.

I have no idea who or how many maintain this blog. But it was absolutely brilliant, insightful, written by someone who actually had used Linux a lot - and provided heaps of good advice disguised lightly as attacks in the very beginning. Then it just became attacks, obviously by either someone who ran out of steam fast, or, more likely, someone else with absolutely no clue, not to Linux and not on how to write funnily (again, in contrast to genius guy #1).

This almost feels like guy #1. At least it's an insightful "attack" that contains heaps of good advice.

Maybe leaving this blog in the RSS reader might pay off after all. If guy #1 comes back.

Anonymous said...

What a nice treat to wake up to, a new post! Welcome back, Linux Hater! Now I will go back and actually read the post.

Anonymous said...

Cloud Atlas "Explanatory" Trailer

Larry Wachowski looking good.

Anonymous said...

And while I'm on the subject, the Raspberry Pi is just Beagleboard again.

Yeah, but if you name it after a dessert it makes it new and hip again. See also: Android release names

Anonymous said...

The Raspberry Pi is worse than Beagleboard, it has an even more ancient CPU and even more closed architecture.

Anonymous said...

As always, lhb catastrophically fails.

st mention the fact that your software is open source or free

What's wrong with this? Many people have some principles, whether it's pragmatic or otherwise. If the software is FOSS, it's important to state that, along with it's meaning.


If the name of your software is an acronym, you must explain what the acronym stands for, with even more confusing terms.

No one really does that anymore, since 1998. Everyone refers to Gimp as Gimp and not "GNU is not Unix Image Manipulation Program". No one even knows that btw.


You must note how your program is modularized, and anyone can add modules and customize it to actually do what it was supposed to just do in the first place.

HURR DURR PLUGINS AND ADDONS ARE BAD.


You must mention that your software is localized. Because, crappy software is somehow better when it speaks your language.

In todays globalized landscape, this is important. Any software that is not localized IS automatically crappy. Especially considering how easy it is to do so.



You must immediately jump into a “recent announcements” section,
What's the issue with that? I like knowing if and when major bugs have been fixed and important features have been added. A git commit log widget would be infinitely cool in the "Contribute" page.

You must mention that your software runs on at least 5 irrelevant platforms.
Irrelevant for YOU. Also, portability indicated the quality of the code.

A personal favor, please note whether your application is multithreaded. I only download multithreaded software.

Never heard this one. In fact, most people I know lean towards multiprocessing than multithreading, unless the overhead is absolutely not acceptable.

Refer to your application as a framework. Since all good great applications are framework. Firefox is a browsing framework. Gimp is a image processing framework. iTunes is a music listening framework. See?

Firefox is not a framework, but the core products XUL and Spidermonkey are frameworks. iTunes is not a framework, but quicktime is. GIMP is not a framework, but gtk is. See the pattern? You are retarded.


Don’t ever call it an installer. Call it a binary distribution.
There is a difference between an installer and a binary.

Anonymous said...

Also, portability indicated the quality of the code.

Like hell it does. All that indicates is that someone was bored enough to compile your shitty code on a different platform, moron.

Anonymous said...

Wow, a driveby freetard. When's the last time we had one of those?

Many people have some principles, whether it's pragmatic or otherwise.

Almost nobody cares. If they did they'd be using Linux since the 90s. Also philosophies are buried on an "about" page with professional projects. People just don't care. They want working software.

HURR DURR PLUGINS AND ADDONS ARE BAD.

Your reading comprehension is bad. Plugins and addons, especially in FOSS, are a vehicle to pass off lazy development onto the userbase.

What's the issue with that? I like knowing if and when major bugs have been fixed and important features have been added.

Not on the front page. A click-thru changelog is fine. Dumping the entire thing on the homepage is obnoxious, especially if they bury the download link near the bottom.

Irrelevant for YOU.

Irrelevant for everybody because no one uses NetBSD or any of that random shit most people have never heard of and no one has used.

Also, portability indicated the quality of the code.

LOL, sure. All it indicates is that the author spent more time wrestling with autotools than writing his program.

Anonymous said...

Maybe leaving this blog in the RSS reader might pay off after all. If guy #1 comes back.

I also liked #2, "graphics hater guy". He wrote the best technical post:

http://linuxhaters.blogspot.com/2008/06/nitty-gritty-shit-on-open-source.html

Anonymous said...

People just don't care. They want working software.

The amount of effort freetards are willing to put into defending useless programs like the gimp, however, proves that some people do not care about working software.

Anonymous said...

Wow, a driveby freetard.

Driveby? Like freetard aren't always here?

Anonymous said...

In todays globalized landscape, this is important.

What is the difference between a piece of crap software in English and a piece of crap software in Klingon?

Nothing. They are both pieces of crap nobody wants to use.

Instead of stretching the already thin resources to translating the UI and so forth, try focuing on just one language version and making it usable, stupid.

Anonymous said...

Firefox is not a framework, but the core products XUL and Spidermonkey are frameworks. iTunes is not a framework, but quicktime is. GIMP is not a framework, but gtk is. See the pattern?

Irrelevant.

Did I also say that you're retarded?

There is a difference between an installer and a binary.

Even when the "binary distribution" is clearly an installer?

http://php.net/downloads.php

Anonymous said...

No one really does that anymore, since 1998.

Why are crazy people so obsessed with the year 1998?

Anonymous said...

Since they want to party like it's 1999.

Anonymous said...

Kid tries to install Ubuntu on all the school's computers to promote "computer science", escalates into an epic political struggle.

I decided not to participate because of how inane it would be to fight a massively conservative audience that doesn't know what open source is.

Yeah, I am pretty sure the one and only reason that people fight against your initiative is that the opposition "doesn't know what open source is". There can never be the case where people are well-informed and still decide to not be on your side, right?

Oh, hang on - what's that?

until I felt the bitter taste of the opposition through a junior named Terrence Diaz, who has used Ubuntu before.

Seriously, this kid is what the likes of Unabomber is made out of. End of story.

kurkosdr said...

-Do not post any minimum requirements/recommended configuration, even if your software is multimedia or otherwise real-time related. Bonus if your software has higher-than-usual requirements (example: VLC and MPC-HC from some months ago, when they didn't do multithreading. So, if you were running them in a PC that doesn't do DXVA-bitstream, you needed much more than the usual 2GHz dual core)

-make sure all fonts are tiny

-make sure the download section has at least 6 options for every system.

Anonymous said...

- have a bug report system but don't respond to suggestions or bug submissions
- have a bug report system and flame users when they submit a bug
- put a recent activities report but don't update it for 2 years
- on the web site talk about conferences you've gone to and monies collected but don't update the software
- set up a logo contest and spend 6 months laboring over inane details of the logo submissions

Bassboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Why are crazy people so obsessed with the year 1998?

Coz that's when windows officially started becoming crap

Anonymous said...

Coz that's when windows officially started becoming crap

Still feeling butthurt about BM Suppository... I mean, TM Repository, Bassboy?

http://tmrepository.com/users/bassboy/

Bassboy said...

Still feeling butthurt about BM Suppository... I mean, TM Repository, Bassboy?

No. Just unhappy that I'm not eating your delicious cock honey!

Palpatine said...

No. Just unhappy that I'm not eating your delicious cock honey!

Let the butthurt flow through you, my young bassboy.

Anonymous said...

I may have failed at trolling using him, but Joe Mongoloid came up trumps in getting Linux Hater to get us some more comments.

Thanks Linux Hater.

Anonymous said...

SHOCK! Jono Bacon turns down Joe Mongoloid's request to condemn gay marriage.

#SaveThemLordJesus

Anonymous said...

SHOCK! Jono Bacon turns down Joe Mongoloid's request to condemn gay marriage.


LOL, well done.

Anonymous said...

Hey long time no post

Sign that linux is getting better

Anonymous said...

SHOCK! Jono Bacon turns down Joe Mongoloid's request to condemn gay marriage.

Till now I still have no idea what exactly this is going to achieve aside from giveing people a bad impression about Linux haters in general and zealots ammunition to deride this place.

Anonymous said...

Hey long time no post

Sign that linux is getting better


OS/2 must be awesome by now.

Anonymous said...

Is it 1999 yet?

Anonymous said...

Till now I still have no idea what exactly this is going to achieve aside from giveing people a bad impression about Linux haters in general and zealots ammunition to deride this place.

Yeah, you've got it pretty-much, after getting Linux Hater to create more posts spreading the word of the Lord is the secondary purpose.

Well, until someone gets butthurt and changes the password (which they just did). I take that as a victory, since it pissed someone off enough that they went through pages of old comments looking for the password. Also, the primary job of the Twitter account was to wake Linux Hater from his slumber.

#SaveThemLordJesus

Anonymous said...

after getting Linux Hater to create more posts

I thought it was my armpit hair making LH to post again.

Boy, I was such an idiot!

Anonymous said...

@JULY 28, 2012 4:02 PM

I will pray for you.

captcha

Anonymous said...

Wait, there are people who don't have a bad impression of Linux haters? Given the dedication to trolling I find that hard to believe.

Anonymous said...

Wait, there are people who don't have a bad impression of Linux haters? Given the dedication to trolling I find that hard to believe.

Nah, we're being trolled.

It's a variation of the, 'I used to recommend this place to my friends...' troll.

The only thing we can do is pray for these trolls salvation.

Anonymous said...

Wait, there are people who don't have a bad impression of Linux haters? Given the dedication to trolling I find that hard to believe.

There are two different kinds of trolls - those who get called "trolls" for being honest enough to call out on someone for being a moron, and those who try as hard as possible to earn the title by reveling in their sheer bad taste.

I am pretty sure you aren't of the first kind.

Anonymous said...

I may have failed at trolling using him, but Joe Mongoloid came up trumps in getting Linux Hater to get us some more comments.

And we thank you for that!

-=@ 20% OFF HOOKER GROUPON @=-

Spend before Tuesday!

Anonymous said...

SHOCK! Jono Bacon turns down Joe Mongoloid's request to condemn gay marriage.

Ask him if he likes their chicken.

Anonymous said...

I will pray for you.

captcha



Wow, so the captcha is: Cum Y Ser

Cum wiser!

As apposed to cum stupid?

Anonymous said...

giveing people a bad impression about Linux haters in general and zealots ammunition to deride this place.

That's like hanging around the public washroom on Friday night and being surprised that two guys in the stall next to you are taking turns fucking each other.

You sir need to get a clue ... and a spell checker.

Anonymous said...

-=@ 20% OFF HOOKER GROUPON @=-

You forgot to post as "LHB Staff".

Here, have your free troll account.

e-mail addr.: lxhater.staff@gmail.com
password: iamawiener

Anonymous said...

That's like hanging around the public washroom on Friday night and being surprised that two guys in the stall next to you are taking turns fucking each other.

Washroom? No wonder I am seeing pieces of human crap floating around here.

Mitt the Twit said...

Now, I agree with everything Linux Hater said. But also, I disagree with it.

Anonymous said...

ROFLCOPTER, this guy's butthurt made the Joe Mongoloid Twitter account more than worthwhile.

This account was created by a (likely) Linux zealot to elicit negative sentiments towards Linux Haters Blog. Overtaken 12-07-28
· http://alturl.com/nkffr


LOL. The best bit is where the shortened link doesn't even go to the right page in the comments.

I really hope I'm being expertly trolled, but it seems like this idiot actually takes this place seriously. Like we're a "community" that has a reputation to uphold, instead of a loose coalition of trolls trolling trolls.

Anonymous said...


I really hope I'm being expertly trolled


Either way, this is the best thing I've seen on Twitter, ever.

Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure you aren't of the first kind.

You forgot the third kind: easily butthurt.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, I used to recommend this place to my friends, but with all the swearing and racism on this blog, I just pretend that I like Linux instead of sending links here.

Get your act together folks.

@Linux Hater, this blog post is too similar to your "How to write a FOSS project" post.

C'mon, with all the GNOME and kick-starter goings on, you write about website of free software projects. You can do better than that, but I guess you haven't been reading much about Linux lately.

Anonymous said...

...Joe Mongoloid Twitter account more than worthwhile.

That account is priceless, so funny, imagine if the actual Mongoloid was anywhere near that level of wittiness...

We have too many angry trolls here and not nearly enough funny ones, I blame the nametards for that.

Anonymous said...

All problems with linux have been fixed, what are you smoking?

Anonymous said...

Linux is flawless. It is from God.

Anonymous said...

Linux is flawless. It is from God.

And other operating systems aren't? Good grief, I'm shocked at your disbelief, go back to TMR, you're better at trolling them.

Anonymous said...

TMR is from God. His arguments are flawless.

Anonymous said...

They should, like, combine Pizza and Nachos and call them Pizznachios.
Man, I could really go for some Pizznachios right now.

Racial Differences Deeper Than Once Thought said...

Scientists admit stark differences in "browns" and "whites"

Anonymous said...

Wow, guys, Open Source Doom-3 running on Wayland. I ...


Uhhh.


Shi-

Oh. Just came in my pants, sorry guys it was just all that talent coming together was just too much. :guitar:

Michael Clarabelle speaks said...

Michael Clarabelle, Phoronix writer, tries to decide which Linux to use:

I've also been thinking about just moving back to upstream Debian or Scientific Linux with at the same time of going through desktop problems also still not being entirely enthusiastic about the direction of Ubuntu.

BUT:

Whatever I end up choosing for my next Linux distribution and desktop on the Apple MacBook Pro with Retina display, it's likely still going to be virtualized within Mac OS X due to Linux hardware support still coming up short.

Does anyone actually use Linux as a.. you know.. Operating System?

Anonymous said...

Localization... All my software is localized. Localized for the one place that counts, the United States of America (fuck yeah). Who cares if Alvarez or whoever still doesn't know what the words File, Edit and Save mean, or that pressing a printer icon will print the shit on the screen. They need to learn some fucking Enlglish instead of expecting pop up dialog boxes to start with upside down question marks.

Anonymous said...

a loose coalition of trolls trolling trolls.

Since when? Oh, yeah, I believe you mean the total of three or so wastes of existence who:

1) constantly try hog the place by attempting to speak for everyone here,

2) persistently drown the comment sections in racist humors and other posts of blatantly poor taste that any decent human being would find repugent and

3) actively incite conflicts that offers no intellectual values but shock factors.

I don't care if you are freetards, unruly adolescents in needs of being grounded by parents or just plain ol' assholes. You are ruining this place for everyone, and that alone is good enough a reason to tell you to get bent and take your antics somewhere else.

You want to speak for everyone? Here's what I think everyone wants to say to you, "You suck. Your shit sucks. We like LHB and we don't need you or want you. Please choke yourself and die. Thank you!"

Anonymous said...

Localization... All my software is localized. Localized for the one place that counts, the United States of America (fuck yeah).

My app is barely usable and crashes all the time, but, hey, at least it has an edition in Swahili!

Anonymous said...

You want to speak for everyone? Here's what I think everyone wants to say to you, "You suck. Your shit sucks. We like LHB and we don't need you or want you. Please choke yourself and die. Thank you!"

OMG, so true. Thanks for saying this, so brave, I shed a tear.

Anonymous said...

1) constantly try hog the place by attempting to speak for everyone here,

2) persistently drown the comment sections in racist humors and other posts of blatantly poor taste that any decent human being would find repugent and


3) Niggers

Anonymous said...

Kernel developer Andre Hedrick commits suicide, Reddit discussion turns into: "How do you pronounce 'Linux'".

Anonymous said...

actively incite conflicts that offers no intellectual values but shock factors.

And this is different from the rest of teh interwebs how?

Anonymous said...

OMG, so true. Thanks for saying this, so brave, I shed a tear.

*offers tissue*

There there bra, you can cry on my shoulder anytime.

Anonymous said...

@ July 28, 2012 9:46 PM

When the hell are idiots like you going to learn that the kind of bullshit you just spewed only incites the other bullshit?

The place would be better off if you'd post something interesting, which we all know won't happen, so just shut the fuck up you candy assed nutjob.

Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah, I believe you mean the total of three or so wastes of existence who:

1) Constantly tries to hog by butthurt anus,

2) Won't leave Jerkface alone, and

3) Niggers

Anonymous said...

Also: niggers

Anonymous said...

Well maybe we will see more frequent posts.

(Actually, I am posting because I see that the captcha is a photo that Google expects people to read for them. Sadly, although the captcha is a photo that says "fifty" - as a numeral - I am going to write that it is seventy-nine. Fuck Google.)

Anonymous said...

And of course it worked. You should all refuse to be part of what Google considers to be an endless supply of free labor, and you can start by giving incorrect answers to these captchas which are photos that Google can't OCR.

For example, the captcha for this post is "forty-on" - as a numeral. Just like with the previous post, I will write "ninety-six" - as a numberal - and it will be accepted as correct.

Post-wasting Sociopath said...

2) persistently drown the comment sections in racist humors and other posts of blatantly poor taste that any decent human being would find repugent and

I can't believe anyone is seriously offended by any of that. That stuff makes me laugh, quite heartily. Or have I just been.... trolled...?

Anonymous said...

Andre took his own life on Friday, 13 July.

Guess he didn't like the cornbread neither.

Anonymous said...

Shitty blog entry but the 5000 comments are welcome. Plus it's been the first "real" one in years.

Anonymous said...

Butthurt Yankfags, LOL

Anonymous said...

More Yankfags

Mitt the Twit said...

Butthurt Yankfags, LOL

I agree with what they twitted there on Twitter. I back that completely. That's what I stand for.

Snoop Dogg banned from Norway said...

Does anyone have information about Snoop Dogg banned from Norway? Can you help me learn more about Snoop Dogg banned from Norway?

Anonymous said...

Localization... All my software is localized. Localized for the one place that counts, the United States of America (fuck yeah).

They need to learn some fucking Enlglish instead of expecting pop up dialog boxes to start with upside down question marks.


Butthurt Yankfags indeed; learn some Russian instead you gits, maybe it'll help you think more clearly.

Anonymous said...

Synchronized diving is more interesting than localized software.

Anonymous said...

I've been telling you for ages that desktop Linux works great. It's far more secure than Windows will ever be, and is more stable to boot. I'm not going to repeat myself here. I will say, though, that Mint 13 is a really great Linux desktop that any XP user will quickly feel at home using. I'll also point out that anyone -- and I mean anyone -- can use Ubuntu Unity. I can also point out that Valve is bringing its Steam gaming platform to desktop Linux.

Finally, I'll add that you can buy PCs with pre-installed Linux from many smaller vendors and that Dell is recommitting to the Linux desktop. Dell has just released new high-end laptops with Red Hat Enterprise Linux (RHEL) and will soon be releasing a developer's Ubuntu laptop.

Anonymous said...

@July 29, 2012 4:57 PM

Chances of this being an actually drive-by Freetard? Slim.

My guess: copypasta trolling attempt, probably cribbed from Ubuntu Forums.

Anonymous said...

Are desktop (tower) PCs still noisy these days? Haven't bought one in years (bought only laptops). Do they still sound like hair dryers?

Anonymous said...

How the fuck are we supposed to know?

We buy Macs, not tower PCs after all.

Anonymous said...

Are desktop (tower) PCs still noisy these days?

Depends on the case.

Anonymous said...

I would post something smug about how my Mac's case is practically silent...

But my harddrive just failed. :(

Anonymous said...

Was it an old hard drive or just defective? Hopefully you have backups.

Anonymous said...

Macfags never back up their shit because they're too fucking stupid to understand the concept of data.

Egyptian man cuts off his penis for Linux said...

zomg!

Anonymous said...

Linux is love. Windows is hate.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry but you all seem to actively incite conflicts that offer no intellectual values but shock factors.

I'm going to have to claw back the hooker groupons.

Anonymous said...

This place is awful. I'm never coming back again. Trust me, I will be missed.

Pogson's Ass said...

Ever wondered what Mr. Pogon's ass looks like?

Anonymous said...

Taken from this post, about Pogson's bass

LHB Customer Support said...

This place is awful. I'm never coming back again. Trust me, I will be missed.

Sorry to lose you as a customer.

Please email back all bytes taken from this site for full refund!

Anonymous said...

I agree that the blog comments have become way too meta.

But 1 in every 50 comments is still comedy gold, and keeps me checking back every couple days.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Pogon's ass

Way to class up the joint, have an egg salad sandwich.

Jeff Foxworthy said...

Ohio Ham is a redneck:

Rural has extra skill set requirements. In fact I could not work Rural USA at the same level I do in Australia without doing extra training. I don’t know their plants there and how they can be used when you don’t have particular supplies.

Anonymous said...

Ever wondered what Mr. Pogon's ass looks like?

It never actually crossed my mind but thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

This place is awful. I'm never coming back again. Trust me, I will be missed.


Wow, we haven't seen you in a while rockstar hater. We know you and your butthurt ass will be back like an absed housewife.

Anonymous said...

Abused*

Anonymous said...

Abscessed*

Adam's Song - You'll Be Sorry When I'm Gone said...

I'm never coming back again. Trust me, I will be missed.


I never thought
I'd troll alone.
I laughed the loudest
Who'd have known.

I traced my Mac cord
to the wall.
No wonder it was
never plugged in at all.

Anonymous said...

This place is awful. I'm never coming back again. Trust me, I will be missed.

There was penis pudding dribbling from his timed slimer and I was wetter than an otter's pocket. We were ready for more. The hammering makes me spritz my flange custard all over his greasy slimelight. The mixture of footlong fudge bullet and cock custard in my old dirt road created the delicious rectoplasm that he was so fond of. My kipper dinghy was trembling like a tasered slab of chopped liver. Inserting a cucumber into my hairy spunk dungeon got me gushing tuna tunnel tears faster than greased shit off a shiny shovel.

White Women Need BBC said...

LHB Knows!

Anonymous said...

Quiznos already knew that.

Michel Morganella said...

I'm going to beat up every Korean - they can all go burn. Bunch of mongoloids.

Anonymous said...

Quiznos already knew that.

They've got your number

Anonymous said...

Listen to you expressin all them feelings. Soap opera rappers all these niggas sound like All My Children.

Anonymous said...

TALENT REPORT
=============


OMG OMG OMG Warsow hit 1.0!

Anonymous said...

OMG OMG OMG Warsow hit 1.0!

Party like it's 1998!

Anonymous said...

Lol, lookout Crysis

Anonymous said...

Hey guys, can you guess what the Freetards think Linux needs next?

Answers in comments, I'll give you one hour.

Anonymous said...

Is it nigger-free code?

Anonymous said...

Is it nigger-free code?

Nope. Way more obvious than that.

Anonymous said...

No-one?

Anonymous said...

This place is awful. I'm never coming back again. Trust me, I will be missed.

Nooo! LHB is leaving us!!!11!1!!!1!!111!

Anonymous said...

WHAT LINUX REALLY NEEDS
=======================


A new Audio subsystem, to compliment the other 200!

Linux: TALENT IN MOTION (TIM)

Anonymous said...

A new Audio subsystem, to compliment the other 200!

LOL, I was going to troll and say a Wayland replacement, but I guess that would not have been so farfetched..

Anonymous said...

I was going to troll and say a Wayland replacement, but I guess that would not have been so farfetched..

Yeah, you wouldn't have been far wrong.

Anonymous said...

Are you an app developer with questions? Always wanted to know how to develop an Ubuntu fart app?

Well, here's your chance!

Anonymous said...

Here's Ubuntu's equivalent to Visual Studio in action guys, can you feel the talent coming together?

Anonymous said...

Want nigger-free code? Join Google+!

Anonymous said...

Well, here's your chance!

"A live Google+ Hangout with IRC chat. The first of these will be Wednesday of this week, at 1700 UTC (6pm London, 1pm US Eastern, 10am US Pacific)."

Let's all join and ask to create Oombooboo apps. Here are some possible candidates:

- Spot the nigger (kind of like "Where's Waldo"?)
- Masturbate calculator - including average per day
- Battery power gadget using a penis icon indicating power left
- rectal scanner to indicate how close a person is to a bowel movement


Of course we'll have to insist upon logo contests.

Anonymous said...

:guitar:

Anonymous said...

Pogson has leaked onto Reddit, he's "gone full Stallman" over people using Ubuntu instead of Debian, with hilarious results.

I liked this response:

Can you agree that there's functionally no difference here between calling it free software and open source software? And that this isn't the year 2001, we aren't on slashdot, and Eric S Raymond hasn't been relevant for more than a decade?

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I don't actually know that's Pogson, just conjecture.

Anonymous said...

Canonical: Ubuntu doesn't have enough RSS readers, we're trying to create more competitions to give people an opportunity to write more RSS readers.

From the article:

Along with a broad topic approach, the developers, answering to a question, stated that the Ubuntu App Showdown (an official contest, where users, using Ubuntu technologies, compete in creating applications that [...] is probably to be repeated, due to the enormous users' response, that, during the three weeks' period of development time, have created more than 140 RSS Readers that are to land in Ubuntu Software Center.

Anonymous said...

How the hell has the "I'd like to interject for a moment" troll not appeared in the Reddit thread?

Anonymous said...

Richard Stallman says that Valve's unfree games are bad.

Anonymous said...

How the hell has the "I'd like to interject for a moment" troll not appeared in the Reddit thread?

Oh, I'm sorry. I've rectified the error, sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Anonymous said...

lol, is 2 points the default or did 2 people actually upvote that?

Anonymous said...

The only games Stallman approves of are those that need to be emailed via telnet with a response delivered in 48-72 hours, after the intern reboots the Pentium MMX sendmail server.

Anonymous said...

lol, is 2 points the default or did 2 people actually upvote that?

It's at +3 now, I'm guessing Reddit are enjoying the troll since it's aimed at someone they dislike.

Personally, I'm thinking the angry neckbeard guy is also a troll and he's really got those idiots going. Just look at his most recent comments in that thread, not even the most hardcore Freetard believes GUI == lockin; terminal emulator == freedom these days.

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

@July 30, 2012 11:16 PM

That's because he prefers you tell people about the Two girls one cup contest.

Anonymous said...

Sirs, I am having trouble with performances on Oooboontoo. ¿Can is be related to MiguelSoft™?

¿You can help I? If you no help then bad men come again to pillage my kipper dinghy and burn village!

Also, I am most beautiful girl in my village, I love feel of neckbeard against my hot poozzy as you are lick my clean-shaven clint. If you help, I am servicing you for very long time!

Anonymous said...

Baiting feminists, probably not as much fun as baiting woman-hating neckbeard virgins.

That mct1 is posting crazy comments all over that thread, he has a major chip on his shoulder.

Anonymous said...

Ex-climate scientist: Global warming is a scam.

Oh-ho-ho! What a house of cards the warmists have built! *snicker*

Anonymous said...

Everything about Ubuntu is slower than Windows (for me, obv). Opening Firefox, Thunderbird, booting up, etc. Literally everything is slower than in Windows. I have no idea why.

It could be an issue with maintaining the dual boot.


Precisely, it's the dual boot: dual booting allows you to easily compare the two OSes on the same machine, and thus see that Windows 7 is inherently faster than the clusterfuck of Ubuntu.

Anonymous said...

Ex-AGW skeptic: Global warming is real and humans are almost entirely the cause. This was a study also funded by the Koch Brothers andnither AGW skeptic groups.

Larry Wachowski Transgender: 'Matrix' Director Reveals Transition To Lana Wachowski (VIDEO) said...

The director of "The Matrix" and the highly-anticipated film "Cloud Atlas" has become the first major Hollywood director to publicly come out as transgender.

Anonymous said...

Despie Apple championing their high app count 2/3rds are undownloaded and unranked.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful Blonde

Anonymous said...

The director of "The Matrix" and the highly-anticipated film "Cloud Atlas" has become the first major Hollywood director to publicly come out as transgender.

+5 informative.

Wow. Still ugly though.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, their movies will still suck.

Anonymous said...

Linux Hater to star in his first ever porno. Good luck LH, we love you!

Anonymous said...

A decent post on Reddit (for a change) about the history of GNOME developers shitty attitudes, with particular focus on GNOME's throwback 'spatial' feature, where users were expected to party like it's 1995.

You know, I get the impression spatial mode for Nautilus might still be the default in stock GNOME.

Anonymous said...

Does GNOME remember window positions yet? Or does everything still open up in the upper left hand corner of the screen all the time?

Anonymous said...

I thought spacial meant is was supposed to remember window sizes, positions and such.

It couldn't be that they implemented it half-assed, could it?

Anonymous said...

Here's Ubuntu's equivalent to Visual Studio in action guys,

So the official language of Ubuntu is.. Python?

I'm guessing their app "developers" are supposed to rewrite everything when the next Python is released and isn't backwards compatible.

Anonymous said...

A new Audio subsystem, to compliment the other 200!

Do the *BSDs support playing more than one sound at a time yet?

Anonymous said...

I thought spacial meant is was supposed to remember window sizes, positions and such.

It couldn't be that they implemented it half-assed, could it?


Hmmm, you know, maybe Nautilus itself did. But I do recall opening things like Totem and Pidgin and even Firefox and they would always open in the upper left hand corner no matter where I moved them or closed them. This was in like Ubuntu 8 something or other though. The proposed "solution" (by forum experts of course) was to change gconf or whatever so all apps opened in the middle of the screen. My god. I was such a freetard.

Anonymous said...

The director of "The Matrix" and the highly-anticipated film "Cloud Atlas" has become the first major Hollywood director to publicly come out as transgender.

Lana, Larry. Who gives a fuck?

"The Matrix" was the high point of her career, after that... all downhill.

Incidentally the same is true for Tom Tywker. No good movie after "Lola rennt".

Anonymous said...

So the official language of Ubuntu is.. Python?

I'm guessing their app "developers" are supposed to rewrite everything when the next Python is released and isn't backwards compatible.


Yes and yes.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, you know, maybe Nautilus itself did. But I do recall opening things like Totem and Pidgin and even Firefox and they would always open in the upper left hand corner no matter where I moved them or closed them.

I'm not sure it's the case now, but the GNOME developers always haughtily declared that, 'It's the application's responsibility to remember where it was positioned last.'

That's why Nautilus remembered it's position, but other apps didn't, meaning:

It couldn't be that they implemented it half-assed, could it?

Exactly right.

Anonymous said...

it's => its

My apologies for the bad grammar. I will kill myself now to prevent bringing shame to the LHB.

Anonymous said...

I expected to see an AGW denialist rebuttal quoting Richard Lindzen by now. He's basically the only one left.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful Blonde

Should have started taking hormones as a teen, when he looked girl enough. Can't keep pretending into your mid-20s.

Anonymous said...

I remember GNOME working correctly for some stuff and not for others. Like GNOME apps would more or less launched where they were last time, though be like 5 pixels off. Plain GTK apps I think would work only if the app registered in gconf or set some sort of other variable. I think KDE apps didn't work at all and Konqueror would launch the same obnoxious window every time. Any other toolkit: LOL.

Anonymous said...

My apologies for the bad grammar.

And you should be ashamed of yourself too!

Giving outsiders the impression that we are on par with reddit users.

For shame!

Anonymous said...

I remember that when I ran GNOME apps via the console I would see massive amounts of errors and warnings being printed off to the console only to find later the app crashing.

Idiots.

Anonymous said...

App Store search is dreadful. Year after year it's dominated by the same stuff. The free to play games stay at the top by giving you in-game currency if you download the other ones on the top 10 list via some 3rd party rewards app.

Anonymous said...

They said in mailing list "Compact view does horrible things". Then fix it, don't remove it. They even claim compact view is same as icons view. No it is not. If they are playing "being a designer" game, let me tell them why it is not same as icons view

Reminds me of how ALSA got started: "OSS doesn't have one feature, let's scrap it and start all over!" The company behind it is professional and has been around for a while but I'm sure some 18 year old dudes in their dorm rooms know better!

Anonymous said...

McSkeptics are all about the volcanoes and quibbling about the placement of a small percentage of weather stations.

Really though, it's about censoring people like Peter Hadfield when they start to make you and "Lord" Monckton look like idiots.

Sadly, even the BBC quoted Anthony Watts in their last article on climate change.

Anonymous said...

^^ Don't care.

Not the first transgender.. said...

Larry Wachowski isn't the first star to have a sex change.

Willie Nelson did it last month.

Anonymous said...

App Store search is dreadful.

Wish there was a checkbox that said 'only good apps'.

Over a million apps in the store, I keep seeing the same shitty ones over and over again..

Zuleidy said...

Muchas gracias y felicitaciones por su explicación tan clara, que solo la dan las personas que saben mucho de un tema.

Anonymous said...

The proposed "solution" (by forum experts of course) was to change gconf or whatever so all apps opened in the middle of the screen. My god. I was such a freetard.

Woah, this gave me a flashback to the Ubuntu Forums, too.

:guitar: :guitar: :guitar: :guitar:
:guitar: :guitar: :guitar: :guitar:
:guitar: :guitar: :guitar: :guitar:
:guitar: :guitar: :guitar: :guitar:

Anonymous said...

Willie Nelson did it last month.

That's just scary. What would he do with all that facial hair?

Anonymous said...

Not the first transgender.. said...

In software, there's always Danielle Bunten Berry , born Daniel Paul Bunten

Anonymous said...

If I see one more slow motion montage of a teenage girl crying her eyes out over falling on her ass in London, I am going to kill someone.

Anonymous said...

There should be large black dildos at uniform intervals on those poles just to make things interesting.

Anonymous said...

poles = bars

Anonymous said...

Valve wants to forbid class action lawsuits

Linux users will be glad to hear and swallow it like a good whore.

Anonymous said...

Linux users will be glad to hear and swallow it like a good whore.

Why not? XBox users do.

Anonymous said...

If I see one more slow motion montage of a teenage girl crying her eyes out over falling on her ass in London, I am going to kill someone.

The saddest part: that's the high-point of her life. She's peaked.

Never again will she be able to reach the Olympic high. She'll be burnt out by the time she's 25, doing reality TV shows and spending the remainder of her life thinking about the time she fell flat on her ass.

Anonymous said...

Linux users will be glad to hear and swallow it like a good whore.

I can kinda respect the RMS crazy, not using closed software on principle.

But the Steam for Linux guys make no sense. You can afford hundreds of dollars of game subscriptions, but a $30 OEM Windows license is an "M$ Tax"?

Anonymous said...

"Being my 'real self' could have included having a penis and including more femininity in whatever forms made sense. I didn't know that until too late and now I have to make the best of the life I've stumbled into. I just wish I would have tried more options before I jumped off the precipice." - Wilma Nelson (formerly Willie Nelson)

Anonymous said...

In tech "journalism" don't forget Ima/Ian Fried

Never Been Touched said...

Freetards on Reddit just lol.

At least I got a link to this blog in there, so maybe we'll get a fresh supply of Freetards.

The future of GNOME said...

The future of GNOME is.. Gaming!

Microsoft has long ago abanndoned PC gaming in favour of the Xbox, lets see if we can make Linux fill the gap.

The future of GNOME is.. Office!

And if we can deprive Microsoft of things like their Office cash cow, then that levels the playing field all the more when we later take them on again in other areas.

So GNOME is going to replace Office and XBox. Okay then..

How 'bout just making a window manager that doesn't suck?

Anonymous said...

I just wish I would have tried more options before I jumped off the precipice

Having regrets about a sex change operation.. harsh..

Anonymous said...

Being my 'real self' could have included having a penis and including more femininity

Could work, but only if you look like this. Shit, is there any guy who wouldn't bang this one?

Anonymous said...

From reddit:

examples of "never-been-touched" man-child neckbearding in the wild.

You forgot the micropeen; these dejected social losers almost always have tiny little peens that can't be used for anything other than a circus side-show on Howard Stern.

Typical freetard.

Anonymous said...

Could work, but only if you look like this. Shit, is there any guy who wouldn't bang this one?

I'd hit that from behind.

Anonymous said...

quibbling about the placement of a small percentage of weather stations.

The funny part was NOAA basically thanked them for doing tedious survey work for free for the locations where they found discrepancies. Most areas were already properly adjusted, however. I think even Watts capitulated to this.

Sadly, even the BBC quoted Anthony Watts in their last article on climate change.

Well, he is a meteorologist, so that gives him some authority, but only into this subset of atmospheric science. Climatology is a distinct branch. It's like interviewing a U.S. state governor on foreign policy. Or a football coach on baseball. Their opinions will be better than laypersons' but they are not experts.

Anonymous said...

Muchas gracias y felicitaciones por su explicación tan clara, que solo la dan las personas que saben mucho de un tema.

Sweet, porn spam. Nice body, eh face, horrendous boob job. What decade is this shot from? Looks late 90s with the cutaway jeans and Friends-like hairstyle.

Anonymous said...

Does Reddit sell a lot of subscriptions at $4/mo? Seems like a service that would be worth a buck or two tops.

Anonymous said...

Seems like a service that would be worth a cent or two tops.

FTFY

Anonymous said...

Niggers

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